If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it.

If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it. ​
If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it.

This is a simple, but true statement:

“If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it.”

The truth is, many of the things we desire most in life won’t come easy. If you want the best marriage, an extremely successful career, lots of money to save/invest or to spend on things you want, amazing health, etc., you’re going to have to work for it. It doesn’t just naturally happen, especially when it is in our programming to embrace being comfortable.

Society has contributed to making our lives as comfortable as possible. It’s kind of a double-edged sword. It’s nice that society has made much of life easy and convenient, but oftentimes, what is easy and convenient is not what’s best for our long-term goals. There are too many exciting things vying for our attention and making us lose focus on what’s important, too many delicious treats/junk food to add to our expanding waistlines, and the affordability of those items seems relatively low. But that’s part of the genius of any good company’s marketing plan…Because, on a case-by-case basis, most of it IS inexpensive. But when these actions are compounded daily – when it becomes the norm to go on a shopping spree instead of saving money, to binge on a Netflix show instead of working out, to going on social media instead of reading a book, or to eat fast food instead of making a healthy meal – that’s when it really costs us a lot.

Our goal should be to get better every day. Whether that’s 10% better, 1% better, or 0.1% better…if we can improve ourselves everyday, we will look back 20 years from now and be amazed at all we have achieved. The key here is to start with your next decision. It can seem overwhelming if you have to make the right decisions all day. But if you just do what you feel is right for your next one, and build momentum from there, you’ll be alright.

Remember that we have choice in everything we do and there are consequences to those choices. Do we want a positive result or a negative one from the decisions we make? Is the short-term pleasure going to outweigh the long-term effects of it? Many of us subconsciously complain about lacking what we desire – a lean body, a big bank account, a perfect marriage – but we don’t put in the effort that it takes to achieve those things. The way I see it, you have two options…Option one is to change your habits and to work hard for what you want. Option two is to stop complaining. You didn’t want the result badly enough to act on it, so stop complaining. Nobody wants to hear you complain anyways – at least not those who have already achieved what you want to achieve.

On competition – with others and yourself

When doing anything, you’re not just competing against other people. You’re really competing against yourself.

Do not be content or disheartened based on the result. Be content or disheartened by judging your level of effort. Did you give as much effort as you are willing to in order to get the result that you desired? That’s the real question…if you’re not happy with the result, change your effort, your strategy, or both.

Controlling your responses to negative stressors

Everyone feels the same emotions…fear, insecurity, heartache, hunger, tiredness, anger, joy. What separates our role models and heroes from those who we do not look up to is how they respond to those emotions.

If you want to be the best version of yourself, take a look in the mirror. How do you respond under stress? Do you take out your frustrations on others or treat them poorly? Would you want your kids to act like you do when you’re stressed?

If you want to be more like your role model(s) or to become a role model, the first step is to be aware of how you’ve seen others react under stress. Are there people you would like to emulate?

After you’ve seen the responses of others and determined which actions you deem commendable, the next step is to be aware of how you currently react under stress. What behaviors, actions, or words do you say/do that you’re proud of and what do you want to stop doing?

After taking note of what you already do, start monitoring how you’re doing from this point forward. Be strict, but forgiving with yourself. You want to start taking the right actions right now. But if/when you mess up, own your mistakes/actions, apologize if necessary, and move forward.

Cut yourself some slack, especially in the beginning, because it takes a while to form a new habit (of responding appropriately to any/every situation). But remember, if we want to be the best version of ourselves, if we want to be a role model to our kids, if we want to make others around us feel better about themselves, and if we want the world to be a nicer place, it all starts with us. We can’t control what other people think, say, or do, but we can control ourselves. It just takes practice.

Free flowing conversations to build trust and establish rapport

Sales scripts don’t work because they are too structured, and the customer does not feel listened to. It’s best to let a natural conversation flow while still getting the information you need from the customer, rather than sounding robotic and reading off a list of questions or looking at a scripted “conversation.”

You should have certain questions you want answered so you can determine how to best help the customer, if you’re a good fit for them (and if they’re a good fit for you), etc. But really, you should be listening and responding authentically to establish the best rapport with the customer.

Increasing your capacity

Work on increasing your different types of capacities…

⁃ Physical: Build a strong, healthy body so that you have the energy and strength to tackle projects and obstacles

⁃ Mental: Build a strong mind by reading books/articles, listening to books/podcasts, attending seminars, and surrounding yourself with others who are smarter/have more experience than you. Prepare your mind to become great at problem solving. Make sure you always remain teachable.

⁃ Emotional: Get used to “failing” and being told “no.” Learn from those mistakes to get better. Strengthen your resolve and do not be discouraged when things don’t go your way.

⁃ Time: Everyone has 24 hours in a day. Automate tasks which need to be done, eliminate tasks which don’t, and delegate tasks which cannot be automated, but aren’t the best/most productive use of your time. If you try to do everything, you will always be stuck doing everything. Learn to delegate tasks that are not necessary for you to do. These can be things that you’re good at, but don’t enjoy doing OR things that you’re not good at and don’t enjoy doing. Teach/train others how to do those tasks well and they will be an extension of yourself! Then when they outgrow that task/position, have them teach/train others to become extensions of themselves! The growth compounds exponentially AND it frees up your time to focus on more impactful activities that only you can do.