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Trust

Always be conscious of your decisions and the long-term effects (or side effects) they may have. You can spend years doing the right things, but if you cut corners or are involved in questionable activities, it can take seconds to ruin your reputation. Once you break that trust, it will always be in the back of that person’s head on if they can trust you again or not. It could literally take a lifetime to repair that trust, but who knows if it will ever happen.

The best way to maintain and strengthen relationships is by thinking about the long-term. Don’t acquiesce to immediate gratification. You might feel pleasure once (in the short-term), but then live with regret for the rest of your life. Do yourself a favor and live with integrity. It will help others to like and trust you, but more importantly, it will allow you to like and trust yourself.

Leading

When you are in a leadership role (and everybody is to one degree or another) be your true self. Don’t try to emulate someone else. If you want to you take bits and pieces from leaders you admire, absolutely feel free to do that. But if you want to just copy someone else, you will never be the best leader. Because at best, you will be a poor man’s version of whoever it is you’re trying to imitate. For example, nobody is a better Abraham Lincoln or Theodore Roosevelt than Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. They were great because they were themselves. They did things as they saw fit. If you try to do exactly as if they would’ve done, you’re going to fall short. It’s best to learn from others, but still implement your own style.

Focus is the key to progress, not balance

“To make progress, you must be FOCUSED, NOT BALANCED.” ⁃ Robert Kiyosaki

You can make a little progress while loving a balanced life, but to make the biggest gains, you have to focus an inordinate amount of attention on one specific goal or task. When you focus on one thing, you’ll be amazed at the strides you can make.

There is no such thing as a perfectly balanced life. Our lives are more like waves in the ocean, going back and forth. Sometimes we have a big project with a deadline to meet, so we have to put our energy in that, while other times we have the ability to focus more on our family, our health, etc.

We can try to be perfectly balanced, but will most likely frustrate you as you aim for the impossible. Instead, spend time in great focus on one aspect of life while maintaining other aspects, then ebb and flow to the next major category.

Being the guide or going along for the ride

Understand when you’re supposed to be the guide/advisor and when you’re supposed to be someone going along for the ride.

If it’s the former, you need to take charge. Provide more input and make suggestions as the guide. You still don’t want to do everything for the other person (they want to be the hero of their own story), but with your help, they can get where they want to go.

If you’re just tagging along, read the situation and minimize your input. Here, the other person wants to be the primary decision-maker. Be there to support them and to listen to them, but don’t try to be the white knight and solve all of their problems. They want to feel listened to.

On conflict…

Don’t go seeking conflict and confrontation, but don’t be afraid of it either. Both extremes are not good. Have a back bone and stand up for what you believe in, but do it tactfully and respectfully as to keep the negotiation going. If you shut a conversation or idea down, you’re treating it as a win-lose situation. That may be necessary for some things (hostage negotiations, for example), but if you want to have a long, meaningful relationship with that person there needs to be some “give and take.” If you always win (or lose), eventually that other person won’t want to deal with you anymore.