Tag: change

Change and influence

Tony Gaskins was credited with saying, “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

I 100% agree with that statement. But I don’t want to just leave it at that. I would add that if you CAN do something about it, then do something. A lot of things are outside of our control, but inside of our influence. We have to take responsibility for our destiny by taking control of our effort and actions.

Did we try our best? Did we give it our all? Is something we’re doing (or not doing) helping produce the results we want? How is our mindset, our diet, exercise, and sleep? Are we learning new things? Are we feeling emotionally and spiritually fulfilled? What are we feeling anxious or stressed about and why?

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer…

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Influence, not force

We can’t make somebody do you anything. We can try to persuade them or influence them. We can try to use logic and appeal to their emotions. Studies show that people respond most to fear, but there are always the outliers who will respond better to the idea of pleasure.

The bottom line is that it’s not up to us. We don’t have to make someone say something, do some thing, or believe something. The only thing we can focus on is giving advice if they want it, speaking our opinion when the time is right, and hoping that the outcomes turn out the best for that individual.

Using the fulfillment triangle when deciding on your career

When you’re at a crossroads and looking to find a new career, take into consideration Ken Coleman’s fulfillment triangle. He describes this as a place where your passion meets your talent and opportunity.

What do you love doing? What are you interested in? What do you find yourself constantly researching or talking about with your friends? Looking at these things can help you figure out what you’re truly passionate about.

What are you good at doing? Has anybody told you that you are a natural at completing a particular kind of task? What do you feel like comes easily to you? When you do things that you are good at, you are usually in a flow state. This is your talent and ability. (By the way, you don’t need to have the ability to do something right now, but if you are capable, that will suffice.)

Who do you know that might be able to introduce you to whatever it is you like and are good at doing? If you’re unsure about this, put the question out on social media. Go on Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. and clearly lay out what it is you’re interested in doing. You never know who might have a connection and get you an “in” with a company. This is your opportunity.

Fulfillment triangle from Ken Coleman on the Dave Ramsey Team
Fulfillment triangle from Ken Coleman on the Dave Ramsey Team.

Four things to avoid when trying to improve…

1. Avoid getting locked into bad habits. You usually have an idea of if you shouldn’t be doing something, so don’t do it.

2. Avoid resisting change. Change not for change’s sake, but to progress. Always strive for a better way to do something – doing it more effectively, more efficiently, or finding something to replace it. (Do you need to be doing that activity at all? Does anyone?)

3. Avoid seeking comfort in repetition. Just because it’s comfortable doesn’t make it right. The greatest times of accomplishment are often preceded by the greatest challenges/struggles which push us outside our comfort zone. We must embrace challenge.

4. Avoid applying old solutions to new problems. Your core values should stay the same. Your goal(s) might stay the same. But your tactics on how to complete the goal could (and probably should) change somewhat regularly, depending on if the tactics are producing the results you want. Just because a specific solution worked for something else doesn’t mean it will work for this new problem.

Small efforts repeated daily

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” - Robert Collier​
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier

When many people think of success, the part that often gets overlooked is the consistent, focused effort applied by the successful person. They think if I just do this ONE THING, I will achieve my goal. But that’s only part of the equation. Sure, you should probably focus your efforts on the most important actionable step, but you’re probably going to have to chip away at that one thing for a very long time to get where you want to be. It’s a long, slow, boring process. You have to enjoy what you’re doing, have a bigger “why” (a reason to push through difficulties), and a lot of grit in order to keep going when you aren’t seeing progress as quickly as you would like.

Two quick notes:

1) Make sure you take the time to really give your focused efforts a chance to pay dividends. If you keep bouncing around, switching from one idea to another (like a fad diet), you’re never going to see the results you want.

2) At the same time, be cognizant of if the efforts you’re making are really what you should be focusing on – are they going to make the biggest impact? Do you need to modify what you’re doing to optimize results? Do not scrap everything you’re doing, but tweak one little part at a time. It’s like an elimination diet. You eliminate one item at a time until you can pinpoint where the problem is. If you eliminate/change everything, you won’t know what caused the results.