comfort | The Caleb Barney Collection

The dichotomy of comfort

We are creatures of comfort. We like comfort. When we’re comfortable, we feel content. These are the positive aspects of comfort.

But if we’re not careful, striving just to be comfortable will more than likely mean striving to be mediocre.

We get the most out of ourselves when we push ourselves past our comfort zone. The only way to get better is by mastering the old while still experiencing the new. We have to fall down to get back up. We need to face our fears and overcome adversity. The more we learn to handle, the more unbreakable we make ourselves.

So while we aim for comfort for a little while, just make sure you’re not staying there too long. Get comfortable being uncomfortable and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.

The dream killer

Comfort is the killer of dreams.

Most of the things we greatly desire, yet still do not have, are difficult to obtain. With that, you get to make the choice. Do you want to consistently face the difficult? Or would you rather be comfortable and not get what you desire most?

Do you want to look like a fitness model and have big legs, defined arms, and six pack abs? You’ll have to hit the gym with purpose everyday and clean up your diet. You’ll need to stop going out for drinks and eating dessert.

Do you want financial freedom? Then you’ll have to spend your money on assets and live below your means. You’ll need to increase your income and decrease your expenses.

Do you want to become more knowledgeable? You’ll have to reduce your hours in front of the tv and start reading more, networking with people who are already doing what you want to do, and start taking action. Things won’t go according to how you read about them in books and you’ll have to be ok with problem solving and failing from time to time.

If you want “the best,” you usually have to pay for it in some way (sacrificing focused time, energy, money, etc). If you want to live out your dreams, you’ll have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Because only seeking comfort is a recipe for dream killing.

Getting out of your comfort zone

Most of the best things in life happen at the edges of your comfort zone. If you only want to feel comfort, you’ll be less likely to branch out/try new things, to overcome adversity, learn new skill sets, etc.

The higher degree of difficulty, the less comfortable most people are with trying to tackle that problem. If you’re willing (and able) to solve that problem, and if you can find a way to solve the problem for others too, you often are compensated (monetarily) for it. Most people want to stay in their comfort zones and are willing to trade money for comfort (paying someone else to solve their problems). There’s nothing wrong with this. We all do it, and depending on the stage of life we’re in, it may be a smarter financial decision to pay an expert/specialist to do something more efficiently so you’re not wasting your non-renewable resource (time) on something you don’t know how to do well and will end up with a worse finished product than if the expert did it in the first place.

Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone.

Courage over comfort

Choose courage over comfort. Just be aware that, as Brene Brown points out in her book Dare to Lead, ”if you choose courage, you will absolutely know failure, disappointment, setback, even heartbreak.”

Courage is tough. It is not for the faint of heart. But, in the long run, the more you choose to be courageous and stay true to yourself, the less regrets you’ll have in life.

Giving an inch and taking a mile

There’s a common phrase which says, “give the man an inch and he’ll take a mile.” When you think about it, you can probably relate to this happening to you at some point. You tried to be nice, whether it was helping someone out by literally giving them something or maybe you “let them off the hook” when they didn’t do something, and next thing you know, they’re asking/taking more than you agreed to.

Well, don’t be mad at that metaphorical man because, guess what? You are that person too! I was thinking about this in regards to my own workouts, eating habits, and other self-improvement actions. I get up really early (I’m usually up by 3:15 a.m.) so I can get my workout in, read, write this blog, and get some real estate-related work done before anyone else in the house is up and moving. Sometimes my alarm clock goes off and I just want to sleep in. What’s the harm in missing one day of working out, right? That line of thinking (giving myself an inch) can lead to a slippery slope (taking a mile). One missed workout, just like one cheat day, one binge-watching session, one of anything in which you “treat yourself” can (and often does) lead to another. It feels good. It’s easier and more convenient in the short-term. But what’s best for short-term is often in conflict with what’s best for the long-term.

Whenever you feel like you “deserve” something, be on guard. That’s the most dangerous time! Keep putting in the hard work. It will be worth it in the long-run. Otherwise the habits you need most become like the stereotypical New Years resolution…forgotten after 45 days. Don’t get caught in the cycle of working hard for a month, and just when you are starting to make progress, stopping “temporarily” to give yourself a break. You’ll find that stopping feels good and you either never fully commit like you initially were or you never get started again.

We all want to take a mile when we give ourselves an inch. The key is to resist the temptation to take that given inch in the first place.