Tag: comfort

Making memories

“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.” – Anne Sexton.

My dad was a great man. I would say so and I believe that many other people would say so too. My dad passed away when I was just 28 years old, 4 months away from me becoming a first time father myself. He taught me many things in the 28 years that I was by his side. I attribute who I am today because of the values that my mother and father instilled in me from a young age. I will always remember him as one of the greatest men that I’ve ever known.

This brings me to my thought of the day, which is to not take your time with loved ones for granted. Whether it’s your mom, dad, sister, brother, husband, wife, children, friends, or extended family – it doesn’t matter what their title is. Try to see them whenever you can. Try to do things with them. Make memories. If we outlive our loved ones, the only thing we have left are the memories we made with them.

If you can’t spend time with them regularly, reach out to them. Call them just to have a conversation and catch up. You’ll never regret making time for the ones you love, and you never know how long they will be in your life.

Lastly, try to express to them how much they mean to you. It can feel weird and vulnerable, but it will be worth it. If you pass away before them, they will know how you felt about them (and vice versa). It’s comforting, even though they are not with you anymore.

So that’s today’s thought of the day. I hope it inspires you to become more connected with others and not take your time for granted with them. I also hope that it makes you want to take action. Because the decisions you make on how you spend your time each day will determine how many memories you can make with others.

Seeking enjoyment, not total optimization

Sit down. Close your eyes. Turn off the tv, music, or podcast.

Take a moment to discover what you actually get enjoyment out of doing and find a way to do more of whatever that happens to be.

Look into what you’re mindlessly paying for but don’t get enjoyment from anymore and remove as much of that from your life as possible.

Understand that while everything can be optimized, trying to optimize every aspect of your life can cause you stress or anxiety. Maximizing efficiency is just like everything else in life. It needs to be done in some sort of moderation.

Remember the 80/20 rule applies to life. Remember to seek progress, not perfection. Remember to be kind and forgiving to yourself and others. Remember, in the end, we are only on this earth for a short period of time – try to enjoy it and focus on the positive instead of the negative. Life is good.

Training in the workplace: You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

When you’re in charge of training someone, the only thing you can do is give them an opportunity to perform. You can show them what is required to thrive in their specific role – what they need to do, best practices, etc. – but you can’t make them do it. You can spend hours explaining the tactics of a position, but you can’t teach someone to have passion, to be curious, or to have a better work ethic. But if they don’t want to do it, or if they just don’t understand/aren’t picking it up quickly enough, you can’t force them to do what you would do. If it’s not working, eventually you will have to do something about it.

Be careful to not make an emotional decision about this. Be objective, but be kind. Are they just not doing something the way that you would do it, but they’re still getting the job done? Is their performance still acceptable? Are they making big enough strides where, even though they aren’t where you need them to be right now, they’re on their way to becoming what you need from them?

After you remove emotions and give their work an honest evaluation, talk with others who know the situation. Make sure you emphasize that they give you their true opinions about the work being completed by the person in question. It’s not about the individual. It should always be about the work and how it affects those around them. Many people are careful to criticize because they like the person they are evaluating or because they fear the other person will find out. But if they don’t let their true feelings be known, they are doing a disservice to the company and even to the individual. After all, maybe this isn’t what the individual wants. Maybe it’s not fulfilling for them and that is why they are not putting in the extra effort to learn and excel at their craft.

Ultimately, you must determine if you’ve done everything in your power (as the trainer/mentor) to help that person succeed. Do they only need to make a few adjustments or is it time to move on? Did you lead them to water? If so, it’s up to them to decide to drink…

Growth over comfort

Will you choose to be comfortable or to try to reach your potential?

Have you ever noticed that we make the most improvement when we are forced outside of our comfort zones? If that’s the case though, why aren’t we always pushing the limits of our comfort zones? It’s simple. It’s because we are creatures of comfort. Who doesn’t want to sleep in a warm, cozy bed? Or to not feel the pain of an intense workout? Of course we tend to stay within our comfort zones – it’s easier!

This is not to say that you always have to be going 100 mph in every area of your life, because at that rate you’re bound to burn out. But in order to move from average, mediocre, or good enough, to excellence, you can’t be complacent. Jim Collins said, “Good is the enemy of great. That’s why so few things become great.” Isn’t that the truth? So often we do just enough to get by – we’re ok with good, so we don’t push to be great. Good is comfortable. Great is difficult.

As I was reading the other day, I came across this quote by Benjamin Mays. He said, “The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little; not in our living above our ability, but rather in our living below our capacities.” It echoes the same sentiment that Jim Collins describes above. We all have so much potential that we never live up to. Make sure you don’t waste your time here by not pursuing your dreams.

I’d rather fail trying than to never have tried at all. We will stumble when we have lofty goals. We’ll be uncomfortable at times. But remember, there is no growth without discomfort.