Tag: comparison

Measuring success

The popular thing to say is to stop comparing yourself to others. I agree with that to a degree. It should not be your primary focus. You need to measure your performance by asking yourself if you did the best you could. After all, if I compared my three-point shooting to Steph Curry’s, I would feel pretty bad about myself. But if I put in the dedicated practice everyday to get better, that’s all I could ask for.

But at a certain point, if you really want to become better, you have to measure your performance against others. Competition brings out the best in you. Otherwise it’s too easy to get complacent. It’s almost like when you’re working out. Your body can go a lot further than you let it, if only you allowed yourself to really open up/push yourself. But if you’re only working out by yourself, it’s easy to take your foot off the gas pedal. Plus, if you’re never around people who are better than you at something, how will you know what is possible? If they can do something, so can you. You just have to work for it.

So, yes…you shouldn’t primarily be focusing on comparing yourself or your situation to others. BUT that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look around to find motivation to better yourself. If you’re the best at “X” then you need to find others who can push you to new limits.

Comparing yourself to others

Stop comparing yourself to others. You think that you’re several rungs down on a ladder from them (or several rungs above them) when, in reality, you might not be on the same ladder! If your goals are different from theirs (which everyone’s goals are to a degree) then how can you say that you are ahead of or behind someone?

Comparison is the thief of joy. When you look at others and envy their position, what you often fail to realize is how lucky you are. No matter what your circumstances, you have it better than someone else. Use your past experiences to your advantage. Be ethical about it, understand what privileges you’ve been granted, but don’t feel bad about it.

Be grateful for where you are in life and what you have, but don’t be complacent. Always strive to be better, to help more people, and the results will come. You’re not doing yourself any favors by comparing yourself to others. You can use other people as examples for inspiration or even for what decisions NOT to make, but avoid comparing your actual life to others. What you see on social media is only part of their life.

Finally, remember that you can always learn from anyone – whether they’re older or younger than you, make more/less money than you, have different beliefs/core values, etc. Keep an open mind and remember that even if you disagree with 99% of what they say, if you try to understand their point of view it will open your mind to new ways of thinking.

Jealousy, privilege, and comparison

Before you make a jealous statement, “they’re so lucky that ____” or “it must be easy because of ____”, truly think to yourself the amount of work that that individual put in to get to where they are. There really are not many “overnight successes.”

And for those who inherited wealth or were put in a better position to start than you? Consider yourself the lucky one. You have gone through trials and tribulations that they have not, and it has forged you into the person you are today.

There will always be someone better off than you just like there will always be others worse off than you, yet you don’t consider yourself privileged. Take a step back and look in the mirror. If you’re reading this on a computer, how “lucky” are you? If you live in the United States, how lucky are you? If you have your eyesight and can hear, how lucky are you? Do you have four limbs? How lucky are you? People tend to downplay the “luck” that played a role in how they got to where they are today, yet they emphasize it in others’ success.

“I’m a self-made person” you say. But, in reality, everyone has had help along the way. Some have had more help than others. But you’ve had more help than plenty of others as well. Remember that.

Finally, stop comparing yourself to others. It doesn’t matter where they are or where they’re going. You can’t control that. But you can influence the direction of your life by the decisions you make each and every day. Work to get 1% better every single day and you’ll be amazed by the results in 1 year, 10 years, and beyond.