Realistically optimistic

Make the best of any situation. That doesn’t mean that you have to view every situation as a positive one. But it does mean that you should not dwell on the negative or on what you cannot change…

You CAN be an optimist and a realist at the same time. They do not have to be mutually exclusive. Being realistic is very important. But a lot of people don’t realize what they’re actually capable of and they view things as being “unrealistic” or out of reach when really they just haven’t found the right way to get what they want yet.

Figure out a way how to make a bad situation better. Do not be easily overcome when things don’t go your way. Stop saying, “I can’t do it.” Instead, ask, “How can I do it?”

Five attributes of a great leader

1. Courage. What leader has been great without also showing extreme courage? George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr…none of them were perfect (nobody is). But what separates them even from other great leaders is their ability to choose to be courageous when it would be easier to lay down. To be courageous, you must first have a clear understanding of what your core values are and stick to them. When times get tough, you will have a decision to make. Do you stay true to what you say your values are? Or do you let the easier choice make your decision?

2. Confidence. To be a leader, you must display confidence. This is not to say that you will always be confident in your decisions. Nobody knows what the future holds or how your decisions will work out. But, you must not let the unknowns paralyze you from making a decision. Instead, take a reasonable time to do your due diligence – research what experts are saying, ask those whom you respect of their opinions, and inject your own common sense into the equation – then act on it! Be decisive and show confidence in your decision. If you’re not confident in yourself, how can you expect others to have confidence in you? Who wants to follow a leader who is meek and not confident in their actions?

It’s easy to look back and say, “I should have done this or that instead.” But the fact of the matter is, you have to make a decision which you feel is best with the information you have at that time. Once you get new information, you can make a different decision. But don’t beat yourself up for not knowing what was unknowable at the time. You will never have all of the answers, so don’t wait to act until you have them. Perfection is the enemy of progress. Done is better than perfect. Be confident and unapologetic in your decisions.

3. Poise. Leaders are poised. They are calm under pressure. They don’t panic. They don’t lose their cool. They do not point fingers or play the blame game. When things get tough, they buckle down. They figure out what the real issue is (not just attacking the surface problem, only for another related problem to pop up…they go deeper to try to get to the root cause and eliminate it). They figure out who needs to do what and when it needs to be completed. They can explain the importance of why it needs to be done and delegate it to others to complete. They might give guidance on how to accomplish it, but they don’t micromanage. Micromanaging kills autonomy and sabotages morale. Leaders understand that people want direction, but they want the freedom to do it their own way. Giving someone that freedom shows you respect them and believe in them enough to get the job done on their own terms.

4. Abundance mindset. Leaders have an abundance mindset, not a scarcity mindset. Instead of looking at others who are successful and being jealous of them, they see them and try to figure how they can emulate and expand upon their successes. Competition leads to innovation.

5. Discipline. Leaders are disciplined and gritty. They understand that in order to consistently produce the results they want, they have to put in focused effort day-in and day-out. True success – success that lasts – requires more than a “one and done” kind of approach. You can’t expect to be great if you never practice. You have to continuously work to be better, to become more efficient, to look for new ways of solving problems. When you don’t feel like doing something important, do it anyways. Find your discipline muscle and use it. And when things don’t go your way, be gritty enough to keep at it. You can allow yourself to be temporarily discouraged, but use that as fuel to overcome the obstacles you’re facing.

Let your body lead (how to artificially produce confidence)

Act confidently to think confidently. This then feeds itself and turns into a never-ending cycle. It’s like the old adage says… Fake it until you make it.

It’s amazing what your body can trick your mind into believing. You can know what you’re talking about, but if you act meek or shy, if you don’t keep good posture, a smile on your face, or walk tall, if you have a limp handshake and don’t look people in the eyes, you’re not inspiring confidence in yourself. People around you see it and you feel it. It’s tough to get out of that cycle. People will be less likely trust you with big decisions, and if you run into the wrong people, they’ll look to take advantage of your lack of confidence.

Meanwhile, if you act confidently, speaking with purpose (loud, but not too loud; crisp; relatively quickly, but not too fast; with energy and enthusiasm, but not so much as to annoy the other person listening), keep your head up, your shoulders pulled back, look people in the eyes, you dress the part, and you genuinely sound like an expert, you’ll see much more success. People will be drawn to you.

Bottom line: act how you want to feel. Your body will lead the way.

Competing and confidence

Be confident in your ability to compete. You don’t have to win every time. You won’t win every time. But you can always compete…Try your hardest, have a good attitude whether you win or lose, and make sure you learn from your experiences.

If you don’t like losing, keep practicing. Keep competing. Be a student of the game. What worked well before and what didn’t work? How can you implement what worked and reduce what didn’t to get more consistent results? Become an expert in whatever it is you’re trying to do. With competence comes confidence.

Sales

Good salespeople have good answers. Great salespeople ask great questions. Ask open-ended questions and then repeat their answer back to them to get your prospect to feel understood. This also helps because it allows the prospect to clarify something you may have misunderstood or assumed incorrectly.

If you are confident in your abilities and are a good communicator (i.e., you listen well and know how to encourage others to give you more relevant information), you will do well in sales.