Tag: core values

Courage

Should courage be the foundation of everyone’s core values? I believe justice, integrity, generosity, and perseverance are also very important values to have, but without the courage to act on what we need to do, will any of those virtues be followed in times of trouble?

We need to be courageous to face uncomfortable situations. Without courage, we are more likely to default to whatever is easiest. Sometimes, to be courageous will require us to confront others, whether they are our peers, someone in a position of authority, or maybe someone you are supposed to be leading. Hopefully we don’t need to confront others often, but it will be necessary at some point in life, regardless of who you are.

Are we standing up for what we believe in, even if it means that we may suffer for doing so? Without courage, we won’t speak up when we see injustice. Without courage, we won’t do what we know is right just because there are roadblocks (like other people). Without courage, maybe we will be less likely to give because we fear we won’t have enough. Without courage, we will give up at the first sign of struggle.

Practice being courageous. It will take time and we will mess up many times along the way. But if we give ourselves some grace, and keep trying to do what is right no matter the consequences, eventually being courageous will become easier for us. Then, not only will we be able to sleep better at night knowing we stood up for what we believe, but we will also gain the respect/admiration of others.

A rough draft of my core values

Defining the core values for my life/business…

1. Always try your best, but have fun while doing it. Life is too short to not have fun. You should enjoy what you do, but that doesn’t mean you should just “coast.” Work hard, play hard. Try your best to become the best. How can you become an expert in whatever it is you do? You may not have the most natural talent, but that’s out of your control. You can always control your effort and your attitude.

2. Put people over profit. If you value making the right decision/doing what’s best for others, people will like and trust you, leading to repeat business or referrals. Treat people like people and the profits will come. You may take a hit in the short-term, but in the long run you will be better off for it.

3. Be humbly confident. You need to have confidence in yourself or else how can you expect others to have confidence in you? You need to believe that you can figure everything out – even if it means asking for help. But the key is to be confident without being arrogant. Be humble. You don’t need to brag to everyone about how great you are. Let your actions do the talking. Stand out straight, keep your head up, look people in the eyes, walk with purpose, and speak clearly, succinctly, and loudly.

4. Be a dreamer AND a doer. You should have big dreams/goals. People won’t understand it. They’ll say it’s not realistic. And they’re right, if you only dream, but don’t take action. Have big dreams, set a plan, then take action immediately. What are you doing today that is bringing you closer to your goals/dreams/ambitions?

5. Perseverance. If you’re setting worthy goals, you will often stumble on your way towards success. But you have to keep going. Don’t let little setbacks affect you. You’ll get through this hardship faster by continuing to move/take action.

The grandma test

Have core values and principles guide your decisions. If you have those in place, whenever you face a specific circumstance which goes against your core values, you already have an answer of what not to do. The potential downfalls will be gray areas though. Be careful to react to events which do not have a clear answer. Try to prolong making a decision, if possible (especially an irreversible decision for something large). Gray areas can be portals to bad decisions.

One thing that you can do to minimize making bad choices is perform the “grandma test.” The grandma test is simply asking yourself if you would feel comfortable or proud telling your grandma what you just did. Are you embarrassed or ashamed by your actions? Would you not want to tell your grandma how you acted in a particular situation? If so, it does not pass the grandma test and you should not do that.

Prioritizing core values

What are your core values? Have you ever thought of ranking them in order of importance?

In a perfect world, you would be able to always stand by your core values. But life isn’t perfect. Sometimes other people’s actions affect you and you need to respond. If push comes to shove and you encounter a situation where you have to decide between core value #1 and core value #2, which would you choose?

For example, say you have core values that include integrity and loyalty. Which one comes first? For many people, the answer would be loyalty. And while I don’t blame them for that answer, I feel you need to put your personal integrity above being loyal to a person, an organization, or a cause. Here’s why…you can control your actions, which make up your integrity, but you can’t control the actions of others. So if you are loyal to someone and they do something heinous, do you stay loyal to them?

Let’s use an example to illustrate my point. My family is critically important to me. They play the biggest role in my life, bar none. But despite that, my personal integrity and the choices I decide to make still have to be my priority over loyalty. In this example, let’s say a family member robs a bank or cheats on their spouse. Do I defend them at all costs? No. That was their decision and with that decision comes potential consequences. If they don’t like the consequences, then they shouldn’t have taken the action. They don’t get to take only the “good parts” and do whatever they want without taking the bad parts that come with their decisions. If I defend them or lie for them to cover up their mistake, not only does it reinforce their poor decision (because now they have no consequences for their actions), but it also makes me lose integrity. You can only be accountable for your own actions. This is why I would prioritize my integrity over loyalty.