Tag: courage

Change and influence

Tony Gaskins was credited with saying, “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

I 100% agree with that statement. But I don’t want to just leave it at that. I would add that if you CAN do something about it, then do something. A lot of things are outside of our control, but inside of our influence. We have to take responsibility for our destiny by taking control of our effort and actions.

Did we try our best? Did we give it our all? Is something we’re doing (or not doing) helping produce the results we want? How is our mindset, our diet, exercise, and sleep? Are we learning new things? Are we feeling emotionally and spiritually fulfilled? What are we feeling anxious or stressed about and why?

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer…

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

On courage, fear, and taking action

Courage is not never being afraid. Courage is having fear and acting anyways.

We are all fearful of something – being criticized, looking dumb, losing a loved one, losing our health, losing our status/reputation, losing our job/career/income, etc. But the only way to live life is to hear your fears, but to keep pushing forward.

Don’t let your fears stop you from taking action. Use them to motivate you to make your life better.

Pause before acting (when you’re afraid)

Whenever you are afraid, try to take a step back before making a decision. Before you decide to act or not act, try to remove yourself from the situation. If a friend came to you with a problem asking for your advice, what would you tell them?

Do not make your decision based on the fears that you have. Make your decision based on what you feel is right. What would you be proud of either doing or saying in that moment.

Would you be embarrassed to tell your parents, siblings, friends, significant other, or children about how you acted or reacted in that moment. If you are embarrassed of it, why? Is it because you did not act with courage? Is it because you acted in a way that didn’t align with your values?

Never act or react solely out of fear.

Courage/Bravery is better than Safety

Life is not safe.

Yes, it’s much safer today than it has ever been. We have clean water, easy access to food, shelter to keep us from being exposed to the elements, we don’t have to fight off packs of wolves or lions.

Life is safe, but why does it feel so dangerous sometimes? We can feel fear from being ostracized, from failing, from not having “enough”…

But I’m here to argue that we should not strive for maximum safety. Maximum safety would require us to never leave our house, because we might get into a car accident, we’ll be exposed to other people’s germs, what if there is a mass shooting where you’re going? There is a point of diminishing returns. We want safety, of course, but we need to live and have social interactions with others. Instead of wanting maximum safety, I’d rather optimize my courage or bravery. Because often times to be the safest, you relinquish so much control – so much of your power – to someone else. But if you are courageous and brave, that power is within you to face and overcome that which you fear.

Courage and bravery

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

Everyone experiences fear. Many times, we fear what we don’t understand. We make something out to be far worse in our minds than what it will actually be like in reality. But, usually, things aren’t as bad as we make them out to be. Most of the time, the thing we feared turns out to be just a small bump in the road, but once we’ve driven over it and experienced it a few times, we hardly even notice it.

Brave men and women still experience fear. But the difference between them and cowardly men and women is that they are willing to face their fears. They will try to conquer their fears. And they realize that most actions we take in life, even if we fail miserably, will not cause us irreparable harm. If we try something and fail, or if we look dumb, that’s part of the process of getting better. But if you never try anything at all, you’ll always be afraid.