courage

Facing difficulties

If you are afraid, that probably means you should do it.

What are you afraid of? A difficult conversation? That’s probably going to happen regardless of whether you try to avoid it or not. And if it doesn’t happen, what are the odds that it actually works out in your favor? Instead, the opposite may be true and you have to live with the regret of not acting or of not saying something just because you didn’t want to feel uncomfortable in that moment.

You will gain more respect for yourself and others will have more respect for you if you face challenging moments head-on. If you are the type of person that always runs away when things get difficult, do you really think that will make you feel better about yourself?

Everyone has fears. But how we respond to those fears is what makes the man/woman. It takes courage to face your fears. Will you answer the call?

Have the courage to fail.

Have the courage to be rejected.

Have the courage to think outside of the box.

Courage is the mother virtue. All other virtues depend on you being courageous enough to take action when it is difficult. When you encounter fear, do you have the courage to face it? If your other virtues are put to the test, they won’t stand up unless you have enough courage to do so. Are you willing to tell the whole truth even when it might get you in trouble? Are you willing to show compassion to those who are looked down on in life? Can you keep your integrity and speak up for things on which you vehemently disagree, even in a room in which you’re the only one who feels that way? Those all require courage to be present.

The relationship between courage and vulnerability

To be vulnerable is to be courageous and to be courageous is to be vulnerable. Doing something difficult when there is an easier choice inherently makes it a courageous act. Whether it is opening up about your life, telling somebody a hard truth, or defending someone else where you might get physically or emotionally hurt, there are different types of vulnerabilities, but they all require courage. How can you practice being courageous today?

Courage to look within

Have the courage to face your weaknesses. Where are you lagging behind? What faults do you have? What mistakes do you repeatedly make? How can you improve in these areas?

Have the courage to admit you were wrong. It will be hard to look in the mirror instead of pointing out the faults of others. Or to admit your mistakes without caveats or giving excuses…just own them. Don’t say, “I only did this because…” or “I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t do this.” That’s not admitting your mistake, not really.

Focus on your actions and how you can improve the situation, not on what you did right and what the other person did wrong. Don’t go in with the idea of having an “unwritten and unspoken agreement” (something in your head only) that when you apologize for X, the other will/should apologize for Y. That’s not how it works. Be sorry when you’re sorry. If you only use the words but don’t actually mean it, others will eventually see through it.

Welcoming disagreements

“One of the most difficult lessons many leaders learn (or fail to learn) is the necessity to welcome and tolerate disagreement.”

There are two ends of the agreement spectrum that we should try to avoid…

The first is to be 💯% agreeable on everything, aka a “yes man.” This is conflict avoidance at its worst.

The other end of the spectrum is to always shut others’ ideas down right away because they don’t align with your thoughts. Nobody can tell you anything if it doesn’t support your opinion. This is someone who craves confrontation and seeks it out.

I’m working on improving in this area (on both ends of the spectrum) – trying to learn the best ways to tactfully disagree. You should have original thoughts and feel comfortable voicing your opinion. But there are things that matter more and things that matter less which should/shouldn’t be argued about or debated. You don’t have to “win” every argument, and by always “needing” to be right, you will eventually discourage others from voicing their opinions around you.