Tag: do what is right

Control the controllables

Here is what you can control: Your effort. Having the best attitude in the room. Not complaining. Being a good listener. Being able to take criticism. Working harder than anyone else. Researching and trying to figure out ways to become the best. Being a good student.

Things you can’t control? Results/outcomes. What other people do, think, or say. “Luck.”

Focus all of your energy and attention on the things you can control and don’t let the things you can’t control get you up or down. They are what they are. If the ball bounces the right way for you, great! But don’t expect things to go well for you if you’re not putting in the work.

If you did what you felt are the right things and didn’t get the result you wanted, don’t dwell on it. Allow yourself a short period of reflection to see if your decisions and actions were actually correct. If they were, continue to do that and work hard with a positive attitude. Eventually things will go your way. If your actions, while made with the best intentions, ended up being incorrect or ineffective, keep that in mind and change how you act in the future to help produce a better end result.

Actions build your reputation

Act in accordance to how you want to be perceived. It sounds simple, but that’s because it is. For example, if you want to be taken seriously, you have to be serious. If you want to be given responsibility, be responsible. If you want to be viewed as trustworthy, do trustworthy things.

If you don’t know where to get started, here are some simple rules that I feel will benefit everyone:

Don’t talk about people when they are not able to defend themselves.

Look optimistically toward the future.

Always try to perform your best/make the most of what abilities you have.

Work hard.

Be respectful.

Do things because you believe that’s the right thing to do, not because someone wants you to.

Love vs admiration

For someone to know you and love you is more impressive than getting the admiration of those who only know your public persona. Anyone can put on a show in public, being on their best behavior, and most people do. So when you to let someone into your life and they see the real you, with all of your imperfections, and still love you? That’s what really matters.

Don’t worry about popularity or fame (which are always fleeting), just treat people well and try to do the right thing as much as you can. By doing this, you can help win the love and respect from those who truly matter.

Protective parenting

Being a parent of young children, I finally understand why you have those overbearing, overprotective parents. As a parent, you never want to see your child hurting – whether physically or emotionally. But we have to accept that pain is part of life and we cannot (and should not) try to shield them from everything.

We want to protect our children, but the irony is that the best thing we can do is let them experience hardship. If you don’t let them experience any pain, they won’t be able to cope with facing more difficult circumstances.

One of the best feelings a person can have is overcoming adversity. Facing a stacked deck and still winning. Why would you want to take that away from them? There is no thrill in victory without the possibility of defeat. If you know that you can’t lose, what’s the point of playing the game? It becomes boring. The same goes for your children…

If you have children, let them struggle. Part of experiencing the highs in life is also knowing about the lows. Don’t jump in to try to save them from being able to know and understand both. Helping them right now can actually be hurting them in the future. But it’s important to start small and to start young. The more quickly they are able to stumble and fall, yet get back up, the better off they’ll be in the long run.

Success, money, and fame

“I’d rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.” – Sophocles

Don’t trade your integrity for fame, money, or “success.” Those things come and go, but you’ll always have to live with your decisions. Outward success does not mean you’ll feel inward contentment. It may take longer, but if you live in a way where your actions align with your values, you’ll end up happier without sacrificing your honor or time with loved ones. And, to me, that is a truer measure of success than only counting fame or money.