doing hard things | The Caleb Barney Collection

Action —> Competence —> Confidence —> Success

Taking action will help increase your competence, which will give you more confidence. The more confident you are, the more likely others will be drawn to you, increasing your likelihood of success.

If you want to be successful in anything, it all starts with taking action. Whatever you are afraid of, that’s probably what you need to do. Charge towards your fears or what is difficult for you. Chances are, it’s difficult for others as well, and when you’re willing to do what others aren’t, you’ll see results that they won’t get. Take action. Ryan Holiday paraphrases a famous Marcus Aurelius quote (shown below) with the title of his best-selling book, “The obstacle is the way.”

The obstacle is the way — “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” – Marcus Aurelius

If you’re afraid of prospecting for new clients, that’s probably because you are uncomfortable doing it and you need to do it. You have to take action to actually get better at it. The more you practice something, the more competent you’ll become, and the more competent you become, the more confidence you will earn.

It will be difficult to make the decision to deliberately put yourself in a position where you might fail, but you must do this. It is the only way to get better quickly. You can read or talk with others who have done it before you all you want, but eventually YOU need to take action. The sooner you realize this and start doing it, the quicker you can achieve your dreams.

Tolerant with others. Strict with yourself.

You know what you should do, so go do it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel like it. If it’s the right thing to do and it needs to be done, don’t waste anymore time procrastinating. It may be easier to skip that workout, to eat fast food, to go on a spending spree, or to not speak up against injustice, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to not do what you feel is right. Or, maybe you do what is needed, but you only do the bare minimum. Be careful of this. How you do anything is how you do everything. If you start looking for shortcuts, eventually that will be your default behavior.

That being said, that’s what YOU should do. That doesn’t mean that you should hold others to the same standards. Don’t mistake this for letting them off the hook and letting them get away with things that are dangerous, amoral, or illegal. They shouldn’t take advantage of people and still need to be called out (or stopped) when they’re doing something egregious. But for the little things that don’t really matter? Skip the criticism.

Others may do things differently than you – in a way that appears to be less effective and less efficient – but at least they’re doing it. If they ask for advice or for help, then offer it. But don’t do it before then. And don’t judge them for not doing something like you would. After all, those are your standards, not theirs. Be tolerant of their decisions, but strict with your own. If you feel your way of doing things is the “best way” to currently do them, don’t lower your standards just to make things easier for yourself.

Voluntary hardship

Do hard things daily. Challenge your body by working out. Challenge your mind by reading and writing. Challenge your beliefs by being receptive to ideas from others who don’t have the same opinions as you. Take on that difficult project at work. Say no to eating out today and make something from a new recipe instead.

Experience voluntary hardship. It makes actual hardships easier and it puts life into perspective. Life is good. We just fail to properly appreciate it.

Competing and confidence

Be confident in your ability to compete. You don’t have to win every time. You won’t win every time. But you can always compete…Try your hardest, have a good attitude whether you win or lose, and make sure you learn from your experiences.

If you don’t like losing, keep practicing. Keep competing. Be a student of the game. What worked well before and what didn’t work? How can you implement what worked and reduce what didn’t to get more consistent results? Become an expert in whatever it is you’re trying to do. With competence comes confidence.

Luck and work

“Care and diligence bring luck.” – Thomas Fuller

Sometimes, you have to make your own luck. It’s not always the case, and it doesn’t always come easy, but if you work hard at doing the right things and treating people the right way, good things often come to you.

If you feel like you’re unlucky, that just means you have to work harder and focus on the positives around you. The world isn’t out to get you. It just is what it is. It’s not going out of its way to hurt or help you. You have to work as hard as you can, controlling what you can, and let everything else fall into place.