If you let the words or actions of somebody else get a rise out of you, if you let a situation get the best of you, if you can’t control your emotions, you open up the door to be manipulated by others. Whether that’s allowing outside influences to “make” you angry, sad, or even happy, that’s giving away your power.
If someone knows how to push your buttons, they can control you to a certain degree. But if you are able to master your emotions, and to remain calm in the heat of battle, you can control your destiny.
Train your mind to be stronger than your emotions.
It doesn’t matter how much you want something, if you don’t train your mind to be stronger than your emotions, you’ll constantly be taking one step forward and two steps back.
Think about wanting to get in the best physical shape of your life. First, you need to set a SMART goal. Then, you need to figure out why that goal is important to you. After that, you need to put a plan in place to achieve your goal. During the planning period, you may be doing research to complete the perfect plan (which doesn’t exist), but that should not stop you from getting started (done is better than perfect). Lastly, you need to find an accountability partner who makes sure you are actively and consistently working towards your goal.
If you let your emotions take over (especially your negative emotions), you’ll find an excuse to not do what you know you need to be doing! It feels better (at the time) to stay in your warm, comfy bed and sleep in. It feels better (at the time) to eat another serving or to have dessert or to have a bedtime snack. It feels better to sit on the couch and watch tv or scroll on Instagram. For every short-term pleasure, there is a long-term consequence. And if you really want to achieve your goals, you have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions (and just doing what feels good in the moment).
So what’s more important to you? A little extra sleep? Or getting up, keeping that promise to yourself, and striving towards your goals?
Trust me, in the end, you will feel so much better about yourself knowing that you set a difficult goal and you achieved it. You persisted through the ups and downs. It was simple, but it wasn’t easy, and not many people are willing to do what you do to get what you want.
Train your mind. If you listen to your emotions, listen to the positive ones that are pushing you towards your goals. Use those! But steel your mind. Make it so strong that your negative emotions cannot overcome you when you put your mind to something.
Don’t act when you’re angry, as you are far more likely to do something you will regret. If you say something or do something, guess what? You can’t take it back. Don’t potentially ruin a relationship, a career, or a life by acting out of anger. Control yourself. Understand your emotions. Come back and address it once you’ve had time to calm down and think about it in a reasonable way.
“It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.” – Bill Murray
When you’re in an argument or when you disagree with someone (especially about their opinion or in “gray” matters), how often do you ever actually say something that gets them to change their minds? It’s hard enough to convince them that you’re right using logic and facts, but when you are debating over something that doesn’t have a factually correct/incorrect answer yet and is based on speculation, you most likely aren’t going to “win” that argument.
This is why people say to not talk about sex, politics, religion, or money. Those topics are too emotionally charged. And what is right for one person may not be right for you. How they view the subject will likely be different than you, and discussing it leaves you open to having huge disagreements and arguments over something in which you won’t change their mind.
That being said, if you do get caught up in a debate, don’t take it personally. They believe what they believe and you believe what you believe. Don’t take offense to their opinion, which more often than not, have no bearing on your life. Why would you choose to get worked up over something that doesn’t actually affect you?
People are emotional, not rational. Appeal to their emotions first and then help to rationalize their decision. If you can get them to articulate how they feel about something, if you can get them to self actualize or self realize it, the idea will stick. If you tell them how to feel, they will know that the idea did not come from themselves and they will be more likely to dismiss it down the road. It’s just like the movie Inception – they have to feel like the idea originated from themselves.
