Influence vs control

You can’t make anyone do something they don’t want to do. Or, if you do get them to do it and they didn’t want to do it in the first place (if they didn’t think they needed to do it/didn’t see value in doing it), they won’t benefit from it the way you think they will. If they are not open to it and they’re not mentally ready to make the change, you’ll both end up wasting time and getting frustrated with each other.

We can influence another person’s actions, but we can’t control their actions. Despite the fact that we may truly believe it will help that person, they have to be the ones who want to do the activity, to make the change, and to benefit from the action. If they don’t want it, it won’t work.

Try to appeal to their emotions first. Why should they want to do what you’re asking them to do? What are the benefits to them? What’s most important to them and how will it improve that? Once you’ve got their attention and they have bought in, then you can reason with them logically. Don’t forget this part (logic) either. Emotions come and go. Logic will stick with them and help them understand why it’s important, but logic does not create the “want” of doing the action.

Facing fear

Everyone is wired to be fearful. It is how you respond to that fear that determines your likelihood of success. Sometimes it’s best to act/be the aggressor, while other times it’s best to sit back and let the storm pass. But regardless of what is the best course of action, the number one thing to remember is to not panic. Control your emotions, logically decide what should be done, then go do it.