Tag: experience

Let your body lead (how to artificially produce confidence)

Act confidently to think confidently. This then feeds itself and turns into a never-ending cycle. It’s like the old adage says… Fake it until you make it.

It’s amazing what your body can trick your mind into believing. You can know what you’re talking about, but if you act meek or shy, if you don’t keep good posture, a smile on your face, or walk tall, if you have a limp handshake and don’t look people in the eyes, you’re not inspiring confidence in yourself. People around you see it and you feel it. It’s tough to get out of that cycle. People will be less likely trust you with big decisions, and if you run into the wrong people, they’ll look to take advantage of your lack of confidence.

Meanwhile, if you act confidently, speaking with purpose (loud, but not too loud; crisp; relatively quickly, but not too fast; with energy and enthusiasm, but not so much as to annoy the other person listening), keep your head up, your shoulders pulled back, look people in the eyes, you dress the part, and you genuinely sound like an expert, you’ll see much more success. People will be drawn to you.

Bottom line: act how you want to feel. Your body will lead the way.

Reading vs experiencing

Reading about something is not the same as experiencing it. A lot can be learned from reading, so this is not trying to discredit reading at all. But being a part of something/experiencing it is completely different than looking at it from the outside-in.

For example, I can read about D-Day, but I will never know what a soldier experienced during that battle. Or I can read about Yellowstone National Park is, but I can only imagine what it’s like to see it in person.

Read often and read broadly. It’s nice to have a good knowledge base of many subjects. But be humble enough to know that just because you’ve read about something doesn’t mean that you truly understand it. Go experience things as often as you can. When it comes to trying something new or going somewhere you’ve never been before, say yes. Because there is no substitute for experience.

Education

School is a way to earn a degree, but it is not the only way to earn an education. There are other ways to learn, including to learn by doing. If you’ve graduated from school, or if school isn’t your thing, that doesn’t mean that you’re done learning. Learn by doing. Give yourself deadlines. Start moving and figure it out along the way. Go experience things. Get stuff done. Use your time being out of school to your advantage.

Protective parenting

Being a parent of young children, I finally understand why you have those overbearing, overprotective parents. As a parent, you never want to see your child hurting – whether physically or emotionally. But we have to accept that pain is part of life and we cannot (and should not) try to shield them from everything.

We want to protect our children, but the irony is that the best thing we can do is let them experience hardship. If you don’t let them experience any pain, they won’t be able to cope with facing more difficult circumstances.

One of the best feelings a person can have is overcoming adversity. Facing a stacked deck and still winning. Why would you want to take that away from them? There is no thrill in victory without the possibility of defeat. If you know that you can’t lose, what’s the point of playing the game? It becomes boring. The same goes for your children…

If you have children, let them struggle. Part of experiencing the highs in life is also knowing about the lows. Don’t jump in to try to save them from being able to know and understand both. Helping them right now can actually be hurting them in the future. But it’s important to start small and to start young. The more quickly they are able to stumble and fall, yet get back up, the better off they’ll be in the long run.

Where is the knowledge?

“Where is all the knowledge we lost with information?” – T.S. Elliot

We are so inundated with information, most of which is irrelevant, that we lose the part that is actually important – the applicable knowledge.

Don’t confuse the two. Start/continue to listen to audiobooks and podcasts, to read articles and books, and to try to learn as much as possible, but make sure you occasionally take a step back and figure out if you’re just consuming noise (information), or if what you’re letting in will help you. Then apply what you’ve learned. The best teacher is experience. You can read as much as you want, but you need to actually start “doing” to gain a complete knowledge of a subject.