failure | The Caleb Barney Collection

Courage

It can be very scary to ask that person out, to leave your job, to chase your dreams (or even to say them out loud). But without even attempting to do those things almost guarantees those things won’t happen. Sure, it might be more comfortable to do nothing. But without discomfort, you will never achieve your greatest goals.

My dad used to say that everyone experiences fear. They feel it too, whether they show it or not. You’re not alone. But it’s what you do with that fear that matters. Will you run from it? Or will you face it?

Don’t let fear stop you from living the life you’re meant to. Courage is the resistance to fear, not the absence of it. Be courageous. Stand up for what you believe in and take that next step towards living out your dreams.

Random thoughts on mindset, boredom, taking action, and failure…

Embrace challenge. Work on mindset. Your situation becomes as good or as bad as you tell yourself. Manage your emotions/beliefs.

Be ok with boredom. Notice what you’re thinking of. Use this to your advantage. Be creative. Don’t have too much structure. Be flexible. “Be like water.”

Take action. Learning/acquiring new information is good, but doesn’t do much for you if you don’t act on what you learned.

Live to fight another day. Don’t give up. Be persistent. Things may not have gone your way this time, but if you keep chipping away at success (steadily/consistently), you will get there.

“Failure” is final. You don’t fail unless you quit. Use the experience from disappointment to learn from and gain in the future.

My biggest fear…is it really what I think?

Many people fear failing, and I know it is one of my biggest fears as well. That’s what I’ve always told myself before, anyways. But after thinking about it more, am I afraid of actually failing or am I afraid of looking like a failure to others? There is a difference…

When you actually fear failing, you’ll often get stuck in “paralysis by analysis” mode, where you procrastinate taking any action for fear that the action you take is the wrong one. The irony is that this fear to fail often keeps you from even trying to get what you want. But if you don’t try it, you guarantee you won’t get it. In that sense, you have ensured failure, just not publicly.

So is it really failure you’re afraid of or is it the perception of failing? Sometimes you are held back from doing something or saying something because you think others will look down on you. Are you ok with asking questions and letting other know that you are not processing the information they’ve given to you? Are you ok with trying something new, with no guarantees of succeeding, if you think others will judge you for it? That’s the difference between being afraid to fail versus being afraid to look like a failure.

Next time you find that you aren’t pursuing a goal or a passion, ask yourself this…What is more important – what other people think of you (when they see you try and fail) or what you think of yourself (never publicly trying something/never “failing” in front of others, but ask never achieving your actual goal)?

Responding to failure

“Failure happens all the time. It happens every day in practice. What makes you better is how you react to it.” – Mia Hamm

How do you respond to failure? Do you mope around or let it get you down? Or do you learn from it – what not to do or where it went wrong? What actions can you take in the future to avoid making the same mistake?

Be ok with failing. Everyone will fail at something. But just make sure you’re making adjustments along the way so as to not make the same mistake twice.

Equality of opportunity, not outcome

We need to be careful not to confuse equality of opportunity with equality of outcome. What I mean by this is that everyone should be able to “play the game” if they want to, but not everyone should “win” an award just for playing.

Systems that give everyone a reward so their feelings don’t get hurt is not helpful in the long run. Sure, it saves people from temporary heartache, but it also makes us less resilient and, ultimately, less capable of overcoming obstacles. Not only that, but it can diminish a true sense of accomplishment. For example: If you come in 8th place in a race, or if your team loses a competition, you know in your heart that you didn’t earn a trophy. So if a trophy is given to you, the trophy is devalued to yourself and to those who finished in front of you.

Make sure to work to build your resilience everyday. Do something difficult. Lose occasionally – not on purpose, but because you’re challenging a worthy opponent. Realize that failure is inevitable, but it doesn’t mean that it is final. Fight for equality of opportunity, but don’t accept equality of outcome (even if you are the beneficiary).