Tag: family

On holidays

A lot of people love holidays and birthdays. They enjoy gift giving, gift receiving, recognizing others on their special day, or being recognized on their own special day.

As I was thinking about it yesterday (Father’s Day), I realized that I really enjoy the holidays and birthdays too. But I honestly don’t care about receiving gifts or recognition. That’s not my love language. Holidays and birthdays are just another day to me. What I love about the holidays though is having a set day, a reminder, to take some time off from work. It’s almost like a forced break. It’s a scheduled day in our calendar where it’s not only socially acceptable to not work that day, it’s actually encouraged and it’s a little strange to be working.

It’s important for the hard-drivers (the people who are always focused on work, achievement, and improvement) to take some time off. Because too often, we are thinking about what we need to do next, when really we need to just enjoy time with our loved ones – the ones who make our lives worth living.

So, yes…I enjoy holidays too. But it’s not for the reason many think about.

Count your blessings

“The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.” – Eric Hoffer…how true this is. How quickly we forget about all the help that we have received along the way to where we are now. Never forget that life is a team sport. You would not be where you are today if not for your teammates – your family, friends, teachers, co-workers, and acquaintances.

How bad do you want it?

There’s a difference between wanting something if it comes to you and wanting to make it so bad that you are willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

For example, I want $1 million. It would be nice if I somehow won $1 million. But that’s not likely. So if I really want it, am I willing to put forth the effort to earn it?

I want to set personal records for strength and conditioning, but I am I willing to push myself hard every single day in the gym, eating the right things, focusing on flexibility and mobility work, and get enough sleep and recovery.

I want to have the perfect family life. But I have to want it badly enough to balance between personal care (where I am making sure I can still be the best version of myself), and spending quality time, helping out around the house, showing the kids great work ethic, respecting and loving my wife/their mother, etc.

Everyone “wants” better, but how badly do you want it? Are you willing to do the work? Everybody wants the best, but not many people are willing to put in the required blood, sweat, and tears to make it happen. Are you going to just be a daydreamer? Or are you going to take massive action to live your best life?

Focus is the key to progress, not balance

“To make progress, you must be FOCUSED, NOT BALANCED.” ⁃ Robert Kiyosaki

You can make a little progress while loving a balanced life, but to make the biggest gains, you have to focus an inordinate amount of attention on one specific goal or task. When you focus on one thing, you’ll be amazed at the strides you can make.

There is no such thing as a perfectly balanced life. Our lives are more like waves in the ocean, going back and forth. Sometimes we have a big project with a deadline to meet, so we have to put our energy in that, while other times we have the ability to focus more on our family, our health, etc.

We can try to be perfectly balanced, but will most likely frustrate you as you aim for the impossible. Instead, spend time in great focus on one aspect of life while maintaining other aspects, then ebb and flow to the next major category.

Conversation – A Work In Progress

I’m introverted and generally very goal-oriented. I enjoy working hard and always staying busy. And with that, I feel that my conversational skills are often lacking. I am not big on small talk. I usually feel like I want to move onto the next thing on my checklist and that stopping to make casual conversation is unproductive. But it’s those conversations about “nothing” that help to build relationships and establish feelings of trust. It’s actually very productive (indirectly) if you can take the time to connect with others, as long as you’re still leaving time to complete other tasks (you can’t sit around and gossip all day). This has been one of my biggest social flaws ad is something I’m working to improve…

The key to improving in anything in life is first to be aware that you are deficient in an area. I’ve done that here. With conversational skills being the deficiency, I delve a little deeper into what I think makes up a good/great conversationalist. Basically, there are three parts to being a great conversationalist.

1. Asking the right questions

The first part is knowing what questions to ask. If you don’t know a person, their interests, etc., sometimes it can be difficult to strike up a conversation. But if you have a general understanding of how to start conversations (asking open-ended questions, usually about the person or a topic that the person has an opinion on) and you also have a vast knowledge of current events or miscellaneous information, this is a helpful start.

2. Be curious

After knowing what questions to ask, you have to actually ask those questions and be interested in the person’s response. You need to listen to what they’re saying and respond accordingly. If you’re interested and curious in what they are saying, this will naturally lead to more questions on your part. Give verbal or physical cues showing your interest. Don’t be over dramatic on this and don’t be fake about it, but if you’re actually interested in what they’re saying, encourage them to talk more.

3. Contribute to the conversation

The third part to be in a great conversationalist is to have interesting things to say and to be willing to share stories with others. If you have great stories to tell, but you are only giving people one word answers and not making it appear as if you’re open to have a conversation, they will shut down and try to look elsewhere. Or if you are asking them questions, but not adding to the conversation, it will seem more like an interrogation.