Everyone is wired to be fearful. It is how you respond to that fear that determines your likelihood of success. Sometimes it’s best to act/be the aggressor, while other times it’s best to sit back and let the storm pass. But regardless of what is the best course of action, the number one thing to remember is to not panic. Control your emotions, logically decide what should be done, then go do it.
Tag: fear
Courage
It can be very scary to ask that person out, to leave your job, to chase your dreams (or even to say them out loud). But without even attempting to do those things almost guarantees those things won’t happen. Sure, it might be more comfortable to do nothing. But without discomfort, you will never achieve your greatest goals.
My dad used to say that everyone experiences fear. They feel it too, whether they show it or not. You’re not alone. But it’s what you do with that fear that matters. Will you run from it? Or will you face it?
Don’t let fear stop you from living the life you’re meant to. Courage is the resistance to fear, not the absence of it. Be courageous. Stand up for what you believe in and take that next step towards living out your dreams.
Taking Action: The cure to fear
Action cures fear. The more you do, the less you fear. Don’t spend time thinking or overthinking about a worst-case scenario of something that has not happened and is not likely to happen.
If there are major consequences to your actions, take the time to think about the best way to approach the situation. Be serious and focused, do your research, read, talk with experts, get advice. But eventually, you have to make a decision with the information at hand. At that point, give yourself grace no matter the outcome. You did everything you could and were thoughtful in your approach.
If there are NOT major consequences to your decision, stop wasting time worrying about it. Time spent worrying is time taken away from enjoying life.
My biggest fear…is it really what I think?
Many people fear failing, and I know it is one of my biggest fears as well. That’s what I’ve always told myself before, anyways. But after thinking about it more, am I afraid of actually failing or am I afraid of looking like a failure to others? There is a difference…
When you actually fear failing, you’ll often get stuck in “paralysis by analysis” mode, where you procrastinate taking any action for fear that the action you take is the wrong one. The irony is that this fear to fail often keeps you from even trying to get what you want. But if you don’t try it, you guarantee you won’t get it. In that sense, you have ensured failure, just not publicly.
So is it really failure you’re afraid of or is it the perception of failing? Sometimes you are held back from doing something or saying something because you think others will look down on you. Are you ok with asking questions and letting other know that you are not processing the information they’ve given to you? Are you ok with trying something new, with no guarantees of succeeding, if you think others will judge you for it? That’s the difference between being afraid to fail versus being afraid to look like a failure.
Next time you find that you aren’t pursuing a goal or a passion, ask yourself this…What is more important – what other people think of you (when they see you try and fail) or what you think of yourself (never publicly trying something/never “failing” in front of others, but ask never achieving your actual goal)?
The fear of making mistakes
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard
When I was younger, I feared making mistakes because I thought it would make me look dumb. I never asked questions in school and figured I would just look up the solution afterwards (even though I rarely did). But what that did was put me further behind. Instead of asking a question, one that may have been on other people’s minds as well, I chose to not understand something. Talk about dumb? That’s a dumb decision!
As I grew older, my fear of asking questions has disappeared, but I still battle the fear of not making mistakes. It’s something that I may always have trouble with, but as long as I remain aware of it and try to fight against it, I will keep improving.
By the way, if you understand what I’m talking about, don’t feel bad. This is very common, especially if you have always been told that you’re good at something. For example, while I don’t know if he has ever come out and said it, I think even LeBron James experiences this too. With his mixture of attributes (height) and skill set (jumping ability, coordination, etc), I think he would have been a great candidate to win the slam dunk contest. There’s no guarantee he’d win, but he was capable of performing dunks that not many other players could imagine. But, to all NBA fans’ chagrin, he never participated in a dunk contest. Instead, he did “participate” in the Skills Challenge. I put the word participate in quotes there because if you go back and look at the Skills Challenge he was in, he looked like he was in half speed – like he wasn’t even trying. Once again, I feel fear is the culprit here. If he tried his best and lost, or if looked like he was trying his best, what would that say about his greatness? In my opinion, nothing. He would still be one of the greatest to ever play. But I think the fixed mindset of him always needing to be the perceived best got to him and his fear of making mistakes/failing led to his half-hearted performance.
That being said, everyone experiences fear. You can run away for a little while, but ultimately, you need to face your fears. Why not get it over with and face them now?