Once you get into it, there’s not many things better than exhausting yourself in some healthy competition with good company.
Think about it…you get to challenge yourself mentally and physically, you get to feel like you accomplished something difficult (because you did), and you get to feel companionship.
The endorphins that are released help you feel better throughout the day AND if you start your morning with exercise, it can help you build the momentum you need to make the lifestyle choices you desire.
What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? – Mark 8:36
As a competitive, ambitious, frugal, investor-minded individual who comes from humble beginnings, this graphic speaks to me.
The competitive side of me wants to be in the top 1% of everything I do (including financial-related goals).
The ambitious side of me wants to prove to myself, my family and friends, my acquaintances, etc. that I can do anything I set my mind to.
The frugal side of me wants to have the financial security money can bring.
The investor side of me hates waste and focuses on being as efficient as possible (like investing in assets and having my money work for me).
But when I think about what’s really important in life and what brings me the most joy, it’s not money…
I’m happiest when I’m hanging out with family – whether that’s at home, going on mini adventures to the zoo, watching our kids hang out with their cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents, or going on our yearly trips to Mohican, Hocking Hills, or the beach.
I’m happiest when I’m working out and competing with friends at the gym (whether or not they know I’m competing with them is up for debate).
I’m happiest seeing friends and playing board games with them for game night or going out and grabbing something to eat.
I’m happiest finding people homes to live in or to invest in and negotiating the best terms for them.
And when I think about all that makes me happy, I realize that I don’t need to always be chasing 💸…life is easier with money, to be sure. But as long as I’m keeping things in perspective and still able to enjoy life while pursuing money, that will be enough for me.
Don’t lose your family, friends, or health chasing money. Because in the end, what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?
“In every good marriage, it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.” – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
If you want to have less conflict, don’t go looking for it. Choose not to be offended and you won’t be. Stop trying to listen for things you don’t want to hear. If you’re on edge (in marriage and in life), and looking for things to be upset about, you can always find them. Let the little things go. Forgive more. Nobody is perfect – including you. So get off your high horse and accept your significant other as they are.
“To be happy together, you first have to be able to be happy alone.” – Mark Manson
You can’t rely on someone else to make you happy – it has to start with you. If you don’t like yourself, how you look, how you act, what you do, or how you do it, how can you expect someone to else to make you feel happy?
It starts with you. You have to like yourself – to be able to enjoy being by yourself and not always needing someone else to be around to distract or entertain you. Once you do that, you can have lasting happiness with someone else. Otherwise, they can make you forget for a moment, but they can’t make you happy “forever.”
Don’t base your happiness on being with someone else. You need to have a base level of happiness with yourself, then you can add others in the mix (like your spouse/significant other, family, friends, co-workers, etc) to amplify it.
Don’t be a fake giver (giving only because you’re expecting to get something in return). You’re setting yourself up for disappointment if you’re keeping score for a game which the other person doesn’t know you’re playing.
If you think to yourself, “I did a, b, and c for this person, so they should give me x, y, or z when I ask in the future,” you’re asking for disappointment. Hopefully that person help you out in whatever way they can because you’re a good friend and they’re a good friend, but expecting reciprocity (especially when you do something for them now, but want them to remember your actions far in the future) is going to lead to frustration from both people.
Be caring. Be nice. Find ways to help. But if you can’t do something, or if it stretches you too thin, don’t feel obligated to do so. It’s ok to say no – and you don’t have to give them a reason why either. If you want to explain to someone why you can’t do something for them, at least they’ll have a better understanding of why you can’t. But they’re not entitled to know (just like you’re not entitled to knowing why they might say no to you in the future).
Give without keeping score. It will save you frustration in the long run because the other person doesn’t know they’re part of an unspoken transaction (which only took place in your mind).
