Tag: friendships

Be likeable

Have you met someone who just makes you feel good when you’re around them?

Be that person to other people. How? Listen to them intently, encourage them (with verbal and nonverbal cues) to keep talking, be interested, know when to add to the conversation/when to interrupt and when not to, smile, don’t be too eager/annoying, if they’re busy with something then leave them be. Have interests. Have things to talk about, but don’t always make it about you. Ask questions. Be approachable. Include others in your conversation. Be nice – not only to that person, but to everyone around you. Be a person of integrity. Be an expert in your field. Know your worth.

The more likeable you are, the further you are likely to go. “You can go fast alone, but you can go far together.” The more people enjoy your company, the more they will try to help you achieve your goals. Let them help you and you will go far.

What does it mean to be successful?

Who is the first person you think of when you hear the word “successful?” I guess it should be based on what you definition of success is. Does it mean they are a prominent businessman/woman? That they make a lot of money? That they’re famous? Or they seem to have it all?

But take a deeper look – not at the person who you think is successful. We’re not here to pick apart their lives/imperfections. Instead, take a deeper look as to what success means to you and why you define it that way. Oftentimes we are only looking at one of life’s domains (usually our vocation or financial success) and are blind to the other domains (do we have deep/meaningful relationships, how is our family life, are we physically healthy, intellectually healthy, or spiritually healthy?)…

Don’t think that because someone is famous that they are successful. Success, at least to me, should be defined by the whole package. Who cares if you’re making $200,000+ per year if you’re in poor health, if you have a broken marriage, if you never get to see/truly know your kids, if you’ve lost/damaged friendships, or if you’re morally corrupt.

Success is winning in every area of life. Success is being happy with what you have, but still striving to do better (for yourself and others). Success is focusing on the process, not the result – on enjoying the journey, and not only worrying about getting to the destination. Everyone has their own definition of success. We all value certain aspects of life differently (and our priorities will change), so don’t judge others for trying to achieve success in their own way. Just focus on creating your best, most successful life and let them do the same.

On growing (and maintaining) relationships

You can avoid growing apart by focusing on growing together. This goes for any relationship – with your spouse, your kids, your parents, siblings, or friends. If you don’t do things with them, you will eventually lose touch. If you don’t keep in contact with them and reach out occasionally, you will be an afterthought to their current life. It’s not because you or the other person don’t like each other anymore, but growing and keeping a relationship strong takes work. If you don’t work at it, it will weaken over time.