goal setting | The Caleb Barney Collection

Setting easy and hard goals

It’s only a partial truth when you hear the saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Because the alternative to that is that something could beat you down and wear you out, and if you don’t allow yourself to recover before the next defeat, you’re only going to see a decrease in performance. Too many harsh defeats in a row could decrease your confidence, and instead of making you stronger, it weakens your resolve.

Practice balancing between setting hard to achieve, but still realistic goals and getting some quick wins under your belt (to build momentum and confidence). When you do go for something and fail, prioritize learning from your mistakes and recovering from failures. Just make sure that A) you’re not aiming too low just to avoid the feeling of pain/loss; and B) you have regular stretch goals that are realistic, but definitely not guaranteed.

Practicing patience

The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.

Most things in life that are worthwhile are either difficult to obtain, take effort, or take time to develop/grow. Some of the best things in life require all three. For example, having a strong relationship (whether between your spouse, best friend, or co-worker) takes time. You don’t have a deep relationship with them the first time you meet them. It takes effort on your part to listen, to show you care for them, etc. The longer you do this, the stronger your relationship grows.

The same can be said for physical success (building/shaping your body how you want it to look), mental (learning a new subject or language), financial (accumulating wealth), or at work (you have to start somewhere, and that place usually isn’t at the top). Most great things take time. We don’t plant the seed and eat the fruit the same day, just as we don’t do one workout and get a six pack the same day. The overnight success is the outlier.

Practice patience. Be patient with others, but be patient with yourself and your goals too. Don’t give up just because you’re not seeing results as quickly as you want. Eventually, if you are consistently working towards your goals, you can achieve great things. Just make sure you’re setting S.M.A.R.T. goals towards things that are actually meaningful to you. If you really want to achieve them, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.

Goals, a vivid vision, and living proactively

Focus on living proactively instead of reactively.

What are you doing today to set your future self up for success? Are you going into each day by looking at what you need to get done for the day? Prioritize what has to get done for the day in order to hit your weekly, monthly, quarterly, or yearly goals.

If you’re not planning each day intentionally, you end up reacting to the day’s events. You’re very busy, but you’re not very productive. You feel like a chicken running around with its head chopped off or like you’re running around, putting out fires all day. You end the day exhausted, but not feeling like you moved the needle towards your long-term goals.

Set time aside to figure out what you want your life to look like next year, in three years from now, and in ten years from now. Do you have a vision of how great your life will be?

You need to have direction in your life. How can you get somewhere if you don’t know where you’re going? Have a roadmap with your destination showing and the route planned out (hitting milestones along the way).

What to think about when setting New Years resolutions

January 1st is here, which means many of you have already set (or will be looking to set) New Years resolutions. Resolutions get a bad reputation sometimes, but they shouldn’t. You should always strive to improve your life. What gets mocked though is how many yearly goals not only don’t get achieved, but are discarded/forgotten by the time February 1st rolls around.

So how do you avoid becoming a cliche by actually keeping your resolutions? Follow these 5 steps to have a greater chance at hitting your goals…

1. Figure out what your goal is in the 7 major categories of life. These categories are: family, relationships, physical, mental, spiritual, financial, and career.

2. After figuring out what your goals are, ask yourself when each goal should be realistically accomplished. Is it something that can actually be accomplished this year? Maybe it will only take 90 days or maybe it will take 3 years. Either way, if it’s important to you, don’t scrap the idea just because it doesn’t fit into a “yearly” goal timeline. Instead, break the goal down into milestones…in order to achieve Z, you need to get to Y by this date. But in order to achieve Y, you need to get to X by this date. Continue doing this until you have broken it down to what you need to do TODAY.

When each goal is broken down into manageable chunks of what needs to be done, always set a timeline for when you should hit each milestone as well (not just the overarching goal). This will let you know if you’re on track to hitting your yearly goal. If you reach a milestone date and haven’t achieved that milestone yet, it allows you to pivot early enough to still (hopefully) complete your big goal.

3. After figuring out what your goals (and milestones) are and when they can be realistically accomplished, the next thing you need is to have a powerful “why” behind them. Why are you resolving to achieve that thing? Why is that important to you? Will it make you feel better (intrinsic motivation) or is it to impress other people (extrinsic motivation)? Did you come up with it yourself or are you following along with what you think your spouse or your boss wants you to do?

You should be excited to get started, but as you begin to struggle, or when you don’t see results right away, you will be tempted to quit. The voice inside your head will begin to tell you that you didn’t really want that in the first place or that whatever your goal was isn’t really important. That’s just you giving yourself an out. But if you have a “why” behind the “what,” you will be more likely to keep at it when the times get tough. Your “why” should excite you and it should improve your life in some way.

4. Now that you know what your goal is, when you need to achieve it by, and why it is important to you, you need to figure out how you’re going to do it. Once again, it is best to figure this out by breaking it down.

First, you need to have a clearly defined time of day to work on your goals. Look at your goals daily and figure out the time you will work on your goal every single day. Will it be every morning when you wake up, as soon as you get off of work, or right before bed every night? Stay consistent with what time you work on your goals. Make this a habit!

Secondly, you’ll be more effective when you have a dedicated place to work on your goals. Where you will work on achieving your most important next action step for the day? Will your “sacred place” be at the gym, your office, a coffee shop, the basement, etc.? You need to define your work space. Especially now, with so many people working from home, you don’t want to blur the lines between when you’re supposed to be working and when you’re supposed to be spending quality time with your family. If you blur the lines, it will be too easy to not be truly focused on anything (making all aspects of your life suffer).

The last part of the “how” to achieve your goal is to understand what is the ONE thing you need to do today to get you closer to your milestone goal. I discussed this earlier when I mentioned breaking down each goal to the point of what you need to do TODAY to get you to where you need to be for the next milestone…What actions (leading measurements) are important to track every day that predict success for your achievement goals (lagging result)? What is the ONE thing you have to do that day to move you closer to achieving your next milestone? Remember, every journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. You have to take small, consistent action to get to where you want to go.

5. Finally, you need to determine who can help you achieve your goals. This will probably take multiple people (probably at least one person for each goal). Is it a loved one who cares about that particular goal just as much as you do? Is it a friend or co-worker with a similar goal? Or maybe you find a group/community online to help encourage you when you’re down, but hold you accountable as well? No matter what the case, share your goals with others. Saying it out loud and writing it down means that you can’t hide it when you don’t achieve your goals. Take ownership of your goals, of your successes when you hit them, and of your failures if you don’t. The only person who can make you do this is you, but it always helps to have support along the way.

Keep these five things in mind when setting goals/resolutions. Of course, try to make them S.M.A.R.T.E.R. (specific, measurable, actionable, risky, time-keyed, exciting, and relevant) and, again, focus on WHY it is important to you. You need to have a deep intrinsic motivation to do something in order to keep pushing through the tough times.

Good luck and happy new year!

Winning the day

Many people have heard of The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I love that book and it helped to kickstart my career. But while that book focuses on starting your morning off right (which builds momentum to make your day right), I have a slight modification to it. The outline below helps to ensure that you are performing optimally throughout each day. Read below and let me know your thoughts!

1. Get your mind right

A) Pray / Be Grateful / Meditate

Wake up and be thankful for what you have – family, friends, health, shelter, technology, a career, etc. Whether you want to call this prayer, or if you want to call it a gratitude session doesn’t matter to me. The key is to focus on the positive things in your life. Whatever you focus on, you will begin to see more of it. So if you focus on death and despair, eventually you’ll become a “doom and gloom” person (which is why I absolutely do not waste my time watching the news).

Instead of saying, “I have to do X,” say, “I get to do X.” In theory, you don’t have to do anything, but you have been fortunate enough to be in the position of getting to do that thing. Even if that thing is getting up early to go work out, to get ready for work, to make a tough phone call, or to be up in the middle of the night changing a baby’s diaper. You are fortunate enough to have good health or work on improving yours, to have a job when so many are without one right now, to be in a position to help others even when they don’t want to hear it, or to have a baby of your own when others aren’t able to conceive and can’t afford to adopt. Change your mindset, change your life.

In regards to meditation, you can download apps like Calm or Headspace or you can just sit and focus on your breathing for 10 deep breaths. The whole point is to slow down. You don’t always need to be on the move! Sometimes slowing down and focusing on your breath is just the thing you need to get your mind right.

B) Review your goals.

If you want to go somewhere or do something, you have to keep the end goal in mind before taking action. Many of us have a vague idea of what we want to accomplish, but once the day starts we immediately go into reactive mode. Figure out what is the most important action step you can take TODAY to bring you closer to hitting your goal, then do it. Even if you only get one thing done today, make sure it is the most important thing that brings you closer to your goal.

Not sure where to start? Break it down into manageable chunks…your yearly goal(s) should be broken down into quarters, which should be broken down into months, which should be broken down into weeks, which should be broken down into days, which should be broken down to what you need to do right now.

C) Believe in yourself / Get motivated.

After reviewing your goals, read your affirmations. Review what you are capable of and read one motivational quote. Then count down. 3-2-1 go (do it). Visualize attaining your goals. What would that feel like?

D) Learn.

Read at least 10 minutes or 10 pages of a book each day, read one work-related article each day, and listen to one educational podcast each day.

E) Produce (write, draw, etc.)

Write something either in the form of journaling, a blog post, or contributing towards a book/e-book you’ve been planning on writing. If you have time or it brings you enjoyment, draw, color, or paint.

2. Get your body right.

A) Exercise.

Move your body for at least 30-minutes each day (cycle through strength, power, and conditioning programs while mixing in mobility, flexibility, and agility). For examples of this, you can follow me on Instagram (@Realtor_Caleb) where I post my daily workout.

B) Eat well.

No matter what you call yourself (vegan, vegetarian, omnivore, carnivore, etc) and no matter what “diet” you follow (if you follow one), we all know basically what we should and shouldn’t be eating. The key is to not keep the “bad” foods around the house, your work environment, etc. Avoid temptation. Don’t put yourself in compromising situations and you’ll do much better.

Another trick is to tell yourself that you’re not the kind of person who does/eats “X.” For example, “I don’t eat fast food.”

Lastly, set up rules for yourself. The rules can be anything you want. For example, “I will not eat after 8 p.m. or before 6 a.m.” or “I do not eat anything after I brush my teeth at night.” For the latter example, you can use it to your advantage by brushing your teeth earlier in the night to trigger the rule/stop eating.

C) Sleep well.

If you do many of the things above (eat well, exercise, and make progress towards accomplishing your goals), you’ll probably sleep pretty well at night. A couple of other tips include trying to stay away from screens an hour before bed (try reading instead), having a slightly cooler room, and installing black out curtains/sleeping in as dark a room as possible.