goals | The Caleb Barney Collection

Accidentally choosing mediocrity

In my quest to be great at all things, I become mediocre in them. I have to choose…just like I can’t reach my peak strength while also having the best endurance, I must prioritize what is most important to me. Do I want to be a powerlifter, a bodybuilder, or a marathoner? If I choose to be all three that’s fine. It may be the best overall for my health (being well-rounded), but I will limit my success in all of them by choosing to do all three simultaneously. If I want to compete to be the best in any of them, I must focus on only one.

One way to try to circumvent choosing only one is to have overlap in the things in which I want to be great. Figure out what each thing has in common…do they have similar training schedules so I’m not spending more time, effort, or money than I need to? If I can maximize my efficiency and effectiveness, I may be able to reach my potential in multiple tasks at once. But if they are very different (requiring different skill sets, training schedules, etc.), I will be limited by my resources (time, energy, money) and not be able to compete as well as I want.

How do you view failure?

How do you view failure? Are you afraid of it? Is it something to be avoided at all costs?

I used to think about failure that way. It was my biggest fear. I didn’t want to look dumb by not knowing something, or by trying to do something and being inadequate at it. That was a nightmarish scenario in my mind.

But the more I read, the more I realized that life’s greatest entrepreneurs, the most innovative thinkers, and the people we often think of as the most outwardly successful all had one thing in common. All of them took chances and they all failed along the road to success.

Many of them “failed fast.” And that’s actually a strategy for a lot of successful people. Why take a year to fail at something when you can get the same lessons by failing within a couple of weeks? Fail quickly, make corrections, then try again. If you fail again, make more corrections and repeat.

You are more likely to see quicker progress (and, ultimately achieve your goal) if you fail quickly as opposed to slowly. There are many reasons for that, but I believe the two most important reasons are this:

1. You’re taking action. If you want to achieve something, take massive action. Most of us set too long of a timeframe to achieve our goals. We can accomplish them much quicker if we just take bigger, more frequent steps to get us towards our goals. You need to build momentum.

2. You feel more accomplished. It’s a little counterintuitive that you feel more accomplished after failing quickly, but hear me out. You’re taking action, moving (mostly) in the right direction over a short period of time. That feels way better than slowly doing something because you can see a tangible difference in where you are today versus where you were a week or two ago. Not only that, but say you move slowly and then realize after a year that whatever project you were working on wasn’t going to work. How unmotivating is that? You just “wasted” a year trying to do something when, if you would have taken massive action, you could have figured out in months? That’s rough.

Failure is a good thing as long as it doesn’t kill you (or your business) and you learn from it. Get back up after you’ve been knocked down. Try something new and you will be one step closer to your goal. One of my favorite quotes is from Denis Waitley. He said, “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” So go be somebody. Go do something. You’re only a failure if you either don’t try in the first place or if you quit.

What to think about when setting New Years resolutions

January 1st is here, which means many of you have already set (or will be looking to set) New Years resolutions. Resolutions get a bad reputation sometimes, but they shouldn’t. You should always strive to improve your life. What gets mocked though is how many yearly goals not only don’t get achieved, but are discarded/forgotten by the time February 1st rolls around.

So how do you avoid becoming a cliche by actually keeping your resolutions? Follow these 5 steps to have a greater chance at hitting your goals…

1. Figure out what your goal is in the 7 major categories of life. These categories are: family, relationships, physical, mental, spiritual, financial, and career.

2. After figuring out what your goals are, ask yourself when each goal should be realistically accomplished. Is it something that can actually be accomplished this year? Maybe it will only take 90 days or maybe it will take 3 years. Either way, if it’s important to you, don’t scrap the idea just because it doesn’t fit into a “yearly” goal timeline. Instead, break the goal down into milestones…in order to achieve Z, you need to get to Y by this date. But in order to achieve Y, you need to get to X by this date. Continue doing this until you have broken it down to what you need to do TODAY.

When each goal is broken down into manageable chunks of what needs to be done, always set a timeline for when you should hit each milestone as well (not just the overarching goal). This will let you know if you’re on track to hitting your yearly goal. If you reach a milestone date and haven’t achieved that milestone yet, it allows you to pivot early enough to still (hopefully) complete your big goal.

3. After figuring out what your goals (and milestones) are and when they can be realistically accomplished, the next thing you need is to have a powerful “why” behind them. Why are you resolving to achieve that thing? Why is that important to you? Will it make you feel better (intrinsic motivation) or is it to impress other people (extrinsic motivation)? Did you come up with it yourself or are you following along with what you think your spouse or your boss wants you to do?

You should be excited to get started, but as you begin to struggle, or when you don’t see results right away, you will be tempted to quit. The voice inside your head will begin to tell you that you didn’t really want that in the first place or that whatever your goal was isn’t really important. That’s just you giving yourself an out. But if you have a “why” behind the “what,” you will be more likely to keep at it when the times get tough. Your “why” should excite you and it should improve your life in some way.

4. Now that you know what your goal is, when you need to achieve it by, and why it is important to you, you need to figure out how you’re going to do it. Once again, it is best to figure this out by breaking it down.

First, you need to have a clearly defined time of day to work on your goals. Look at your goals daily and figure out the time you will work on your goal every single day. Will it be every morning when you wake up, as soon as you get off of work, or right before bed every night? Stay consistent with what time you work on your goals. Make this a habit!

Secondly, you’ll be more effective when you have a dedicated place to work on your goals. Where you will work on achieving your most important next action step for the day? Will your “sacred place” be at the gym, your office, a coffee shop, the basement, etc.? You need to define your work space. Especially now, with so many people working from home, you don’t want to blur the lines between when you’re supposed to be working and when you’re supposed to be spending quality time with your family. If you blur the lines, it will be too easy to not be truly focused on anything (making all aspects of your life suffer).

The last part of the “how” to achieve your goal is to understand what is the ONE thing you need to do today to get you closer to your milestone goal. I discussed this earlier when I mentioned breaking down each goal to the point of what you need to do TODAY to get you to where you need to be for the next milestone…What actions (leading measurements) are important to track every day that predict success for your achievement goals (lagging result)? What is the ONE thing you have to do that day to move you closer to achieving your next milestone? Remember, every journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. You have to take small, consistent action to get to where you want to go.

5. Finally, you need to determine who can help you achieve your goals. This will probably take multiple people (probably at least one person for each goal). Is it a loved one who cares about that particular goal just as much as you do? Is it a friend or co-worker with a similar goal? Or maybe you find a group/community online to help encourage you when you’re down, but hold you accountable as well? No matter what the case, share your goals with others. Saying it out loud and writing it down means that you can’t hide it when you don’t achieve your goals. Take ownership of your goals, of your successes when you hit them, and of your failures if you don’t. The only person who can make you do this is you, but it always helps to have support along the way.

Keep these five things in mind when setting goals/resolutions. Of course, try to make them S.M.A.R.T.E.R. (specific, measurable, actionable, risky, time-keyed, exciting, and relevant) and, again, focus on WHY it is important to you. You need to have a deep intrinsic motivation to do something in order to keep pushing through the tough times.

Good luck and happy new year!

Mastery and challenge

What brings us happiness? A balance of mastery and challenge. This is a paradox as a life with only mastery and no challenge would be boring. Imagine playing a 3 year old in a game of checkers. You would always win and there would be no challenge. But a life with only challenges and no mastery would be equally, if not more, dreadful. It would be like constantly getting sand kicked in your face. And just when you’re about to get up again, someone shoves you down. A life of only challenges yet no mastery is not a life of happiness.

We need a balance between the two. With mastery brings a sense of accomplishment and of overcoming difficulties that not everyone is willing to attempt. But if you only stay within your comfort zone, in the domain which you have mastered, you will soon find yourself bored. And a bored mind is not optimized for maximum happiness. Instead, you need another challenge, something to take you out of your comfort zone, but a challenge that is still possible to overcome. And then the cycle continues, as anything that challenges you is inherently something you have not mastered yet.

Winning the day

Many people have heard of The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I love that book and it helped to kickstart my career. But while that book focuses on starting your morning off right (which builds momentum to make your day right), I have a slight modification to it. The outline below helps to ensure that you are performing optimally throughout each day. Read below and let me know your thoughts!

1. Get your mind right

A) Pray / Be Grateful / Meditate

Wake up and be thankful for what you have – family, friends, health, shelter, technology, a career, etc. Whether you want to call this prayer, or if you want to call it a gratitude session doesn’t matter to me. The key is to focus on the positive things in your life. Whatever you focus on, you will begin to see more of it. So if you focus on death and despair, eventually you’ll become a “doom and gloom” person (which is why I absolutely do not waste my time watching the news).

Instead of saying, “I have to do X,” say, “I get to do X.” In theory, you don’t have to do anything, but you have been fortunate enough to be in the position of getting to do that thing. Even if that thing is getting up early to go work out, to get ready for work, to make a tough phone call, or to be up in the middle of the night changing a baby’s diaper. You are fortunate enough to have good health or work on improving yours, to have a job when so many are without one right now, to be in a position to help others even when they don’t want to hear it, or to have a baby of your own when others aren’t able to conceive and can’t afford to adopt. Change your mindset, change your life.

In regards to meditation, you can download apps like Calm or Headspace or you can just sit and focus on your breathing for 10 deep breaths. The whole point is to slow down. You don’t always need to be on the move! Sometimes slowing down and focusing on your breath is just the thing you need to get your mind right.

B) Review your goals.

If you want to go somewhere or do something, you have to keep the end goal in mind before taking action. Many of us have a vague idea of what we want to accomplish, but once the day starts we immediately go into reactive mode. Figure out what is the most important action step you can take TODAY to bring you closer to hitting your goal, then do it. Even if you only get one thing done today, make sure it is the most important thing that brings you closer to your goal.

Not sure where to start? Break it down into manageable chunks…your yearly goal(s) should be broken down into quarters, which should be broken down into months, which should be broken down into weeks, which should be broken down into days, which should be broken down to what you need to do right now.

C) Believe in yourself / Get motivated.

After reviewing your goals, read your affirmations. Review what you are capable of and read one motivational quote. Then count down. 3-2-1 go (do it). Visualize attaining your goals. What would that feel like?

D) Learn.

Read at least 10 minutes or 10 pages of a book each day, read one work-related article each day, and listen to one educational podcast each day.

E) Produce (write, draw, etc.)

Write something either in the form of journaling, a blog post, or contributing towards a book/e-book you’ve been planning on writing. If you have time or it brings you enjoyment, draw, color, or paint.

2. Get your body right.

A) Exercise.

Move your body for at least 30-minutes each day (cycle through strength, power, and conditioning programs while mixing in mobility, flexibility, and agility). For examples of this, you can follow me on Instagram (@Realtor_Caleb) where I post my daily workout.

B) Eat well.

No matter what you call yourself (vegan, vegetarian, omnivore, carnivore, etc) and no matter what “diet” you follow (if you follow one), we all know basically what we should and shouldn’t be eating. The key is to not keep the “bad” foods around the house, your work environment, etc. Avoid temptation. Don’t put yourself in compromising situations and you’ll do much better.

Another trick is to tell yourself that you’re not the kind of person who does/eats “X.” For example, “I don’t eat fast food.”

Lastly, set up rules for yourself. The rules can be anything you want. For example, “I will not eat after 8 p.m. or before 6 a.m.” or “I do not eat anything after I brush my teeth at night.” For the latter example, you can use it to your advantage by brushing your teeth earlier in the night to trigger the rule/stop eating.

C) Sleep well.

If you do many of the things above (eat well, exercise, and make progress towards accomplishing your goals), you’ll probably sleep pretty well at night. A couple of other tips include trying to stay away from screens an hour before bed (try reading instead), having a slightly cooler room, and installing black out curtains/sleeping in as dark a room as possible.