Tag: good

The difference between good and great

The difference between good and great for most people is not talent or ability – it’s discipline.

Can you find the discipline to do what you don’t want to do, even though you know you need to do it? And the trick is, you can’t just do it once. You have to develop the habit to consistently do what you need to do and to make progress everyday.

Getting even 1% better everyday should be our goal. If we stay in our comfort zone, we will plateau early. But if we keep pushing the limits every day, in 10 years you will be amazed by how far you’ve come.

Half-baked thoughts: Varying levels of parenting

Levels of parenting:

1) Being a parent = Having a child.

2) Being a good parent = Taking care of your child/children.

3) Being a great parent = Taking care of yourself and your child/children.

It doesn’t take much to be a parent, but it does take a lot of time, effort, and sacrifice to be a good or great parent. The difference between good and great might not be what you think though…instead of giving more to your kids and never letting them struggle, I think a great parent lets their kids find things out on their own.

A great parent lays the foundation for their children – making them feel loved and safe, providing a roof over their heads, and giving them access to healthy foods. A great parent also teaches their kids manners, how to respect others and to be kind, and to have a good work ethic.

But a great parent is not a helicopter parent (or, a lawnmower parent). They don’t hover over their children – never letting their kids experience failure or disappointment. They also don’t clear a path for their children – making their lives so easy that they never experience struggle.

Lastly (at least for this post), a great parent takes care of themself as well as their children. They eat right, exercise their mind and body, and are financially responsible. They are there to serve as a role model for the kids, who inevitably will learn from the parent’s actions. This not only allows the parent to have their own time to recharge, but it also gives the kids some independence from their parents.

Living a fulfilled work life

To have a fulfilled work life, find the intersection of the following:

1. What you LOVE doing. The work will feel “light” or easy most days because you enjoy what you do.

2. What you’re GREAT at doing. Everyone likes being good at what they do. It brings internal satisfaction, but also can bring external recognition.

3. What people will PAY you to do. Ultimately, you have to make a living. Being paid (and paid well) will help to ease any internal concerns you may have about whether or not you made the right career choice.

Letting our experiences shape our perceptions

Perception is interesting. What one person perceives as good event can be perceived by another person as bad. One person could ask you an innocent question, such as, “why are you doing that?” And they’re genuinely curious because they haven’t seen someone do what you’re doing before, or at least haven’t seen it done in that way. If you perceive this the wrong way, you may automatically get defensive – thinking that they are judging you. But, in reality, they are just curious.

I feel that we assume we know what another person is thinking, or what their intentions were when they did something, way too often. We think too deeply about their words or actions, when it would be better if we just dig deeper and asked them more questions so that we could gain a better understanding of what they’re really trying to ask/accomplish.

Our perceptions are based on our mindset and our previous life experiences. Sometimes there is a deeper meaning to why something was said/done, but other times, the person/animal was just making conversation or acting on instincts. For example, I was listening to a podcast the other day when the host talked about hearing a dog bark. For him, that triggers the fight or flight response. He was bitten by dogs three times as a kid, so hearing a dog bark equates to danger in his mind. But for someone like me, growing up with dogs and always having good experiences with them, I may feel happiness when I hear a dog bark. Ultimately though, the dog is just barking. We don’t know if it is a good or bad thing (and depending on who is looking at it/hearing it, it could be both). The barking is what it is. The dogs may see a squirrel. It may be playing with other dogs. Or, it could be protecting a bone, its home, or its owner.

It’s only natural to be shaped by our experiences and to project what we think something means when we encounter others. But, we should be careful to assume we know the meaning or the reasoning behind someone’s words/actions. Don’t get defensive if someone asks you a question. Instead, dig deeper to see what they’re truly asking (if there is a deeper meaning).

Attitude

If you go into your day with a negative attitude, you’ll focus only on the negatives and the day will seem to take an eternity. People won’t enjoy talking with you and eventually will stop interacting with you if they don’t have to. But if you go into your day with a positive attitude, you are much more likely to have fun whatever you’re doing, the day will go quicker, and people will enjoy being around you. As a result, they’ll try to help you whenever they can because they want to see you succeed.

How do you improve your attitude? Start by smiling more. Smiling can instantly improve your mood (they even tell you to smile when you’re on the phone because it will lead to better results).

Next, stop taking yourself so seriously. Joke with others. Be able to laugh at yourself if you do something embarrassing. Choose to be happy with whatever you’re doing, including work. If you’re going to do something 40+ hours per week, would you rather enjoy your time there or hate it/count down the time until you get to leave? Just because you’re working on an important project doesn’t mean you can’t have fun doing it. In fact, you’ll probably do a better job and feel more life satisfaction if you’re having fun at work.

Keep everything in perspective. Most events are trivial over the span of our lifetimes. Don’t blow things out of proportion and make them bigger than they really are. So often it seems that we take the good things for granted and we over exaggerate the bad things. Stop doing that. Keep it in perspective.

Be generous and remember your manners. Performing random acts of kindness will make you feel better. Do something generous (whether it’s paying someone a compliment or paying for someone’s meal) and don’t expect anything in return. Also, say please and thank you frequently. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean that you should forget your manners.

Lastly, stop complaining. Anytime you catch yourself about to complain, try to reframe whatever negative thought you had and make it a positive one. For example, instead of saying, “It’s too hot outside,” say, “It’s so sunny today!” Both statements can be true, but if you focus on the positive statement, you’ll have a better attitude.