Love vs admiration

For someone to know you and love you is more impressive than getting the admiration of those who only know your public persona. Anyone can put on a show in public, being on their best behavior, and most people do. So when you to let someone into your life and they see the real you, with all of your imperfections, and still love you? That’s what really matters.

Don’t worry about popularity or fame (which are always fleeting), just treat people well and try to do the right thing as much as you can. By doing this, you can help win the love and respect from those who truly matter.

Labeling

Avoid tying your identity to a group or characteristic. Stop labeling yourself. For example, do not view yourself as smart. This will get you in trouble eventually. If say you are smart, or let other people’s kind words influence your opinion of yourself, you could fall into the trap of viewing your decisions as always being right and be close-minded to others’ suggestions.

On the flip side, don’t label yourself as your feelings either. Instead of “I’m depressed,” you should say, “I feel sad right now because X.” It is important to understand that you are not what you feel. Your feelings fluctuate throughout the day – they are temporary, but if you dwell on the bad and tell yourself that is who you are, your mind will work hard to keep you in that rut.

Lastly, do not identify yourself with a political party. Why should you have to choose between labeling yourself as a Republican or Democrat? Shouldn’t you come up with ideas and solutions on your own instead of having answers fed to you? Don’t follow the herd and just say or do whatever a party leader says. You don’t need to have an us versus them mindset. Instead, try aiming for a more inclusive mindset. How can you include more people in your life and improve their lives? Don’t follow others blindly. You can take the best from one person’s/group’s opinions and merge it with the best from another to develop your own guidelines. Make sure that what you say and do aligns with your core values – who you are and who you want to be as a person.

Good vs nice

There is a difference between nice people and good people. A person can appear nice or even charismatic, but actually be a “bad” person. That’s not always the case, in fact, if someone appears nice they usually are good as well. But you should not confuse the two. Let me explain…

Good is more important than nice. Being good involves making the best decisions with the information at hand, even when those decisions may not be the most popular. This means that being good may involve telling somebody something that they do not want to hear, but need to hear. Meanwhile, in order to be considered nice, sometimes you may hide the truth to avoid a difficult discussion, embellish facts to make someone feel good, or verbally agree to something someone else believes in, so that you don’t hurt their feelings or cause conflict.

Be nice and good whenever possible. But when push comes to shove, choose being good over being nice.

Optimism vs. pessimism

What you search for, you’ll find. If you’re optimistic, you will be able to see the good in any situation and be able to make or take opportunities when they present themselves. If you’re pessimistic, you’ll see the negative all around you.

The optimist and the pessimist live in the same world. It’s just that the optimist chooses to see a different reality and, as a result, will get ahead more often than the pessimist.

How can you train yourself to be more optimistic today?