Tag: gratitude

10 tips for a happy life

To live a happy life, you need to do the following things:

1) Live in alignment with your values…if you do something that morally doesn’t sit well with you, it will haunt you. What do you value?

2) Only worry about what you can control. You can control your effort and behavior. You can control your thoughts and actions. You CAN’T control what other people think, say, or do. If you feel compelled, try to help them make what you deem “better decisions.” But realize you only can control yourself, no one else.

3) Understand that this moment is only temporary. Whether you’re expert the best or the worst day of your life, it’s temporary. Treasure the great days. Enjoy the time with your friends, your family, and even yourself. When something bad happens, understand that this is only a page (or a chapter) in your book. Tomorrow is a new day.

4) See the positive in any situation. Even when bad things happen, spin it around – how can you learn/grow from this?

5) Develop am attitude of gratitude. What you focus on grows. Focus on being positive and on seeing the positive, and your life will become more positive.

6) Don’t take life (or yourself) too seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Often, we place too much emphasis on what is happening right now. “What if I don’t get an ‘A’?” “What if ‘X, Y, or Z’ does/doesn’t happen?” In the end, you’ll realize that cumulatively, yes, it all adds up, but individually it really doesn’t matter. Will you be on your deathbed and regret not getting a better grade in 8th grade math?

7) Smile and laugh everyday. Do it as often as you can. It will make you feel better.

8) Be healthy. A healthy body and a healthy mind will help keep your mindset positive.

9) Surround yourself with others who are generally, and genuinely, happy. You are the average of the five people with who me you spend the most time.

10) Be yourself. Do what you feel is right. Don’t try to “keep up with the Joneses” or impress other people…other people will come and go. But you have to live with yourself until your dying days. Be you. Love you. And don’t care about what other people think.

Taking the bitter with the sweet

So much of life is outside of our control – much of which is bitter. We set out to do something and we are quickly beset by challenges, by loss, by other people’s tendency to think about themselves over other people’s needs. Yet we continue on…not just because we have to (or ought to), but because we know what’s on the other side is wonderful: friendships, success, excellence, life-changing experiences.

If today ends up being another day where there is more bitter than sweet for you, try to remember what Theodore Roosevelt said. Say to yourself, “I am taking the bitter to get to the sweet.” Say, “It all balances out and I am lucky to have both when so many have neither.” In this way you will not only grow stronger and more able to endure any misfortune that comes your way, but you will also be more grateful for and appreciative of the gifts you are given as well.

What you focus on grows

When you focus on the positive, you’ll see (and get) more positivity in your life. When you focus on the negative, you’ll find more negativity in your life. It’s really that simple.

This is why starting and ending your day with a prayer, thinking about what you’re grateful for, stopping and taking a moment of silence, etc is so helpful. These things can help you be intentional and focus on how great your life really is.

There will always be bumps in the road. Life is not always going to be easy. But at any given time, there will be something you can be grateful for…

So focus on the positive. Actively seek it out. Surround yourself with other positive people, read positive/inspiring quotes and books, listen to positive podcasts or books, and stop watching the news (which mostly conveys negative information). What you focus on will grow and you’ll tend to find more of that thing.

Here’s to the new year!

Today is New Year’s Eve.

Recently, I’ve talked a lot about looking forward to the next year – about setting goals, overcoming new challenges, and bettering every aspect of your life to become the best version of yourself.

But as you have free time today, instead of being so future-focused, take time to reflect on the previous year. For some, 2021 has been the best year of their lives. For others, it’s been the most difficult year of their lives. But regardless of the year as a whole, look back in your calendar. I’m sure you’ll be able to find events that contributed to your happiness (like going on vacation, meeting up with friends, etc). Be grateful for the people, circumstances, and your own thoughts/attitude that allowed you to really enjoy those moments. And vow to yourself to have more of those moments this year.

So today’s plan, other than reflecting on the past year, is to ask yourself the following…What events did you do that brought you the most joy last year? Which events brought you the most stress? How can you incorporate more of the good and less of the bad into your schedule for 2022? For things that you love doing, but won’t do unless it’s planned, paid for, and on the calendar, get those scheduled now. It’s too easy to just keep going with “everyday life” and forget to have fun and live a little (especially if you’re a workaholic).

Lastly, end 2021 the right way. Be safe. Be healthy. And try not to start the first day of 2022 hungover and unable to start your goals/resolutions.

Phrases to cut out of your life

1) “You always/you never”…Usually, when we use this phrase, we’re blaming someone for something. You always do this thing wrong. You never do this thing right…when in reality, that’s just not true. They may do something that irritates you, but you need to do a better job of explaining to them why it upsets you. If they don’t change (and even if they do, they’ll still likely forget from time to time), do your best to let it go. You’ve said your piece. You can’t force someone to do something.

2) “Why do you/why are you”…I’m only referring to using this in an accusatory tone of voice. “Why are you ___?” instantly puts whomever you’re questioning in a defensive position (much like the “you always/never phrase above). Instead, try to ask them how they’re feeling, if anything is wrong, what their thought process was that caused them to feel/act that way, etc.

3) “I have to”…You technically don’t have to do anything. You get to do that thing. Work on being more grateful for the opportunity to do it. You get to go to work today – to earn a living, to accomplish a task, to pay for food/water/shelter, etc. Change your attitude.

4) “I can’t”…Your mind is a powerful thing. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something, you’ll believe it. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” So while you may be unable to do something right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t always be able to not do it. Instead of saying “I can’t,” ask yourself “how can I?”

5) “That’s impossible”…See the paragraph above for “I can’t.” There are some things that don’t seem possible, but if someone else has achieved it, you already know that it is possible. Plus, how many times has the human race done something that most people thought was impossible (like sailing around the world, flying in an airplane, going to space, etc)?

6) “You make me”…Once again, this is a very accusatory statement and will likely escalate the argument rather than diffuse it. But you should also remember that you have to take responsibility for how you feel. If someone “makes you mad,” do you not have any control over your own emotions? If not, you can be easily manipulated by anyone who knows how to push your buttons. Change your attitude/perspective.