Tag: gratitude

Finding Happiness

When it comes down to it, I believe our ultimate goal should be to be happy. That should be the “why” behind all of our actions. But we need to break this down further to truly understand it. We should not confuse short-term happiness for long-term happiness, or vice versa. For many people, their short-term happiness hinges on doing something that feels pleasurable at the time, but comes at the expense of their long-term happiness.

For example, going on a spending spree occasionally is fine, but doing that everyday will make you go broke in the long run and you’ll have to delay retirement.

Eating pizza or doughnuts is really enjoyable at the time, but do it everyday and you’ll likely be working your way towards all sorts of health problems.

Taking a day off from working out or reading to let your body and mind recharge is great, but to never work out or read puts your body and mind in a deficit over time.

You need to find the balance between short-term happiness and long-term happiness. The easiest way to do this is to find enjoyment in the process of everything you do. If you can find as much overlap as possible where what you want to do in the short-term is actually benefitting you kn the long-term, that’s when you’ll really feel supercharged instead of like you’re always sacrificing happiness now for happiness in the future (or vice versa).

So, what helps to shape our happiness? Usually, it is some combination of striving to be our best selves (mentally, physically, spiritually, relationally, and financially), of feeling a sense of accomplishment by doing something difficult, of contribution (helping others/volunteering/giving back), and of gratitude (being thankful for what we have and not comparing ourselves to others). Find ways to intentionally incorporate actions that push you towards this and you’ll find happiness much more often.

4 requirements to have a great relationship with your significant other

1. Show them that you want to be with them. Be interested in their stories. Pay them sincere compliments. Make them feel good about themselves and make them feel desired. Ask yourself, are most of your interactions with them positive, negative, or neutral (the silent killer)?

2. Show them appreciation. When they help you, make sure you point out the specifics about how their actions have made your life easier or improved your life in some way. Never forget to thank them and do not take their helpfulness or thoughtfulness for granted. Ask yourself, when was the last time you thanked them for doing something “expected?” Do you still thank them for picking up the groceries, folding the laundry, or taking out the trash? Yes, those things need to be done. But maybe you should be the one to do those things (or, at the very least, say thank you when they get done).

3. Show them respect. Never get into a name-calling argument. Even if you disagree with their opinion or action, approach them with respect. Don’t roll your eyes, make snarky remarks, or make audible sounds (like sighing) to express your disapproval. Avoid being passive aggressive and instead be respectfully upfront with them. Have you noticed yourself doing any of these things? Stop it. And if you do catch yourself doing it, apologize right then and there.

4. Show them love. You can want to hang out with someone, but not love them. You can appreciate what they do for you, but not love them. You can respect someone, but not love them. Even though your significant other should be a treasured friend, don’t lump them into the “friend zone” with everyone else. Show them love and speak their love language. When was the last time you showed your significant other affection? When was the last time you hugged them, kissed them, or…(you get it)? Maybe their love language isn’t physical touch. You could try other things like getting them a gift “just because” or writing them a note each morning. Try different things, but always show your love for them and your relationship stands a good chance of not only surviving, but thriving.

On happiness, gratitude, and perspective

Your worst day is NOT that bad. Keep that in mind whenever you feel down.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. It’s a new opportunity to do what you were supposed to do, to act how you want to act, to say what you need to say.

You have been blessed with so much in this life. Do not take it for granted. After you take a few deep breaths, reflect on what you are grateful for. Pray, if that’s what you’re into. Or meditate if you prefer. Regardless, the better you are able to frame your life/keep things in the proper perspective, the happier you’ll be.

Influence vs. control

You can influence others, but you can’t control them. Others can influence you, but they can’t control you. You get to decide what you do or don’t do. Don’t blame someone else for “making” you do something or feel some way. They may have influence over you, but only you get to determine if they control you or not.

Let’s take that a step further and apply it to life circumstances. We don’t get to control what happens in our environment. We can influence it to an extent and it can influence us but we don’t control it and it doesn’t control us.

Don’t blame the economy, the government, the president, your boss, or anyone else for something that isn’t right in your life. They’re only a small part of the problem. The bigger part of the problem is your attitude and your actions.

The good news is that if you’re the majority of the problem, you’re also the majority of the solution. Work on fixing yourself and your life will get better. No matter the circumstances, you can always try to improve your situation by improving your attitude, being prepared, working hard, and being kind to others. If you do this everyday, you’ll soon find out that outside circumstances eventually have less and less influence (and absolutely no control) on your life.

Winning the day

Many people have heard of The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I love that book and it helped to kickstart my career. But while that book focuses on starting your morning off right (which builds momentum to make your day right), I have a slight modification to it. The outline below helps to ensure that you are performing optimally throughout each day. Read below and let me know your thoughts!

1. Get your mind right

A) Pray / Be Grateful / Meditate

Wake up and be thankful for what you have – family, friends, health, shelter, technology, a career, etc. Whether you want to call this prayer, or if you want to call it a gratitude session doesn’t matter to me. The key is to focus on the positive things in your life. Whatever you focus on, you will begin to see more of it. So if you focus on death and despair, eventually you’ll become a “doom and gloom” person (which is why I absolutely do not waste my time watching the news).

Instead of saying, “I have to do X,” say, “I get to do X.” In theory, you don’t have to do anything, but you have been fortunate enough to be in the position of getting to do that thing. Even if that thing is getting up early to go work out, to get ready for work, to make a tough phone call, or to be up in the middle of the night changing a baby’s diaper. You are fortunate enough to have good health or work on improving yours, to have a job when so many are without one right now, to be in a position to help others even when they don’t want to hear it, or to have a baby of your own when others aren’t able to conceive and can’t afford to adopt. Change your mindset, change your life.

In regards to meditation, you can download apps like Calm or Headspace or you can just sit and focus on your breathing for 10 deep breaths. The whole point is to slow down. You don’t always need to be on the move! Sometimes slowing down and focusing on your breath is just the thing you need to get your mind right.

B) Review your goals.

If you want to go somewhere or do something, you have to keep the end goal in mind before taking action. Many of us have a vague idea of what we want to accomplish, but once the day starts we immediately go into reactive mode. Figure out what is the most important action step you can take TODAY to bring you closer to hitting your goal, then do it. Even if you only get one thing done today, make sure it is the most important thing that brings you closer to your goal.

Not sure where to start? Break it down into manageable chunks…your yearly goal(s) should be broken down into quarters, which should be broken down into months, which should be broken down into weeks, which should be broken down into days, which should be broken down to what you need to do right now.

C) Believe in yourself / Get motivated.

After reviewing your goals, read your affirmations. Review what you are capable of and read one motivational quote. Then count down. 3-2-1 go (do it). Visualize attaining your goals. What would that feel like?

D) Learn.

Read at least 10 minutes or 10 pages of a book each day, read one work-related article each day, and listen to one educational podcast each day.

E) Produce (write, draw, etc.)

Write something either in the form of journaling, a blog post, or contributing towards a book/e-book you’ve been planning on writing. If you have time or it brings you enjoyment, draw, color, or paint.

2. Get your body right.

A) Exercise.

Move your body for at least 30-minutes each day (cycle through strength, power, and conditioning programs while mixing in mobility, flexibility, and agility). For examples of this, you can follow me on Instagram (@Realtor_Caleb) where I post my daily workout.

B) Eat well.

No matter what you call yourself (vegan, vegetarian, omnivore, carnivore, etc) and no matter what “diet” you follow (if you follow one), we all know basically what we should and shouldn’t be eating. The key is to not keep the “bad” foods around the house, your work environment, etc. Avoid temptation. Don’t put yourself in compromising situations and you’ll do much better.

Another trick is to tell yourself that you’re not the kind of person who does/eats “X.” For example, “I don’t eat fast food.”

Lastly, set up rules for yourself. The rules can be anything you want. For example, “I will not eat after 8 p.m. or before 6 a.m.” or “I do not eat anything after I brush my teeth at night.” For the latter example, you can use it to your advantage by brushing your teeth earlier in the night to trigger the rule/stop eating.

C) Sleep well.

If you do many of the things above (eat well, exercise, and make progress towards accomplishing your goals), you’ll probably sleep pretty well at night. A couple of other tips include trying to stay away from screens an hour before bed (try reading instead), having a slightly cooler room, and installing black out curtains/sleeping in as dark a room as possible.