Competing and confidence

Be confident in your ability to compete. You don’t have to win every time. You won’t win every time. But you can always compete…Try your hardest, have a good attitude whether you win or lose, and make sure you learn from your experiences.

If you don’t like losing, keep practicing. Keep competing. Be a student of the game. What worked well before and what didn’t work? How can you implement what worked and reduce what didn’t to get more consistent results? Become an expert in whatever it is you’re trying to do. With competence comes confidence.

Success, money, and fame

“I’d rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.” – Sophocles

Don’t trade your integrity for fame, money, or “success.” Those things come and go, but you’ll always have to live with your decisions. Outward success does not mean you’ll feel inward contentment. It may take longer, but if you live in a way where your actions align with your values, you’ll end up happier without sacrificing your honor or time with loved ones. And, to me, that is a truer measure of success than only counting fame or money.

What is the next step?

The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. Set yourself up for future success by taking action on the most meaningful next steps as frequently as possible. Figure out what it is you’re trying to achieve then reverse engineer how to get there.

This seems simple enough, and the concept really is, but it’s not easy. We get distracted by trivial tasks on our To Do list that don’t push us forward, by other people’s goals that don’t relate to our own, to life’s obstacles, and to extraneous information that may help us in the future, but not right now. But what we need to keep going back to, what we need to keep refocusing on, is what is the next most important action we need to take and then go do that.

Labeling

Avoid tying your identity to a group or characteristic. Stop labeling yourself. For example, do not view yourself as smart. This will get you in trouble eventually. If say you are smart, or let other people’s kind words influence your opinion of yourself, you could fall into the trap of viewing your decisions as always being right and be close-minded to others’ suggestions.

On the flip side, don’t label yourself as your feelings either. Instead of “I’m depressed,” you should say, “I feel sad right now because X.” It is important to understand that you are not what you feel. Your feelings fluctuate throughout the day – they are temporary, but if you dwell on the bad and tell yourself that is who you are, your mind will work hard to keep you in that rut.

Lastly, do not identify yourself with a political party. Why should you have to choose between labeling yourself as a Republican or Democrat? Shouldn’t you come up with ideas and solutions on your own instead of having answers fed to you? Don’t follow the herd and just say or do whatever a party leader says. You don’t need to have an us versus them mindset. Instead, try aiming for a more inclusive mindset. How can you include more people in your life and improve their lives? Don’t follow others blindly. You can take the best from one person’s/group’s opinions and merge it with the best from another to develop your own guidelines. Make sure that what you say and do aligns with your core values – who you are and who you want to be as a person.