If it’s not going to matter in five years, don’t let yourself stress over it for more than five minutes. Feel your feelings. You don’t have to be a robot. But if something isn’t going to matter in the grand scheme of things, let it roll off your shoulders. Why stress out over something that has already happened and that you can’t change? Try to remedy the situation or learn from your experience/get better so that same thing doesn’t happen again.
Tag: growth
Thoughts on competing
I love competition. It just makes me happy. Some of my favorite college memories are from competing…in basketball games, beer pong tournaments, and fitness competitions (like the “Most Fit Buckeye” competition and doing out-of-state Tough Mudders). I remember doing a CrossFit-style working out and trying to beat my friend across a finish line. We both dove across a basketball gym floor (and the imaginary finish line) trying to beat each other. We probably looked ridiculous to other people at the rec center. I don’t know who won, but I know that we both laid on the floor and died laughing.
Whenever I can, I always try to win. But if I lose, I don’t let it ruin my day. I think this is a healthy measure of competitive spirit. It might have held me back from some success according to outside measures, but internally, it is what is most satisfying for me. If I lose, as long as I tried my hardest and lost, I’m usually OK with it. I look back at things and try to figure out what I need to improve on and how I can get better so that I will win next time, but that is the competitor side in me. I don’t let it ruin my day or get under my skin. I’m not going to be a bad sport about it.
Be grateful for all that you have, including the ability to compete. Many people don’t have the same opportunities as you have, and that is a reason to be grateful.
What you focus on grows
When you focus on the positive, you’ll see (and get) more positivity in your life. When you focus on the negative, you’ll find more negativity in your life. It’s really that simple.
This is why starting and ending your day with a prayer, thinking about what you’re grateful for, stopping and taking a moment of silence, etc is so helpful. These things can help you be intentional and focus on how great your life really is.
There will always be bumps in the road. Life is not always going to be easy. But at any given time, there will be something you can be grateful for…
So focus on the positive. Actively seek it out. Surround yourself with other positive people, read positive/inspiring quotes and books, listen to positive podcasts or books, and stop watching the news (which mostly conveys negative information). What you focus on will grow and you’ll tend to find more of that thing.
Facing your fears – incrementally vs all at once
The way I see it, there are two ways to successfully face your fears. You can gradually/incrementally introduce yourself to your fears (taking baby steps – learning more about it first, then being around it, then facing it in an unimportant situation, then facing it more regularly) OR you can dive right in and surround yourself with them. The best approach depends on how devastating the outcome could be and what your mindset is.
If there are irreversible repercussions to you failing, then you should take the gradual approach. Read about what you are going to face, talk with other people who have conquered that fear, listen to books/podcasts/YouTube videos, etc. Then just go and be around whatever you have to face. You don’t need to face it yet, but the nearer you are, the more acclimated you’ll get. Start by going once per week then increase the frequency. As you become more familiar with the event, your fear levels will likely go down.
If the stakes are low if you fail/mess up, it’s probably best to just jump right in and learn on the fly. Learning is often done best by experiencing. Then you can still read, listen, talk with others, and watch others to learn more, but now you’ll have a better understanding of what they’re going through (because you’ve already been through a similar situation). You will speed up your learning curve by doing. Just make sure you have a growth mindset going into the event. You may not be good at whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish/conquer yet, but with enough practice you can/will get better.
The difference between good and great
The difference between good and great for most people is not talent or ability – it’s discipline.
Can you find the discipline to do what you don’t want to do, even though you know you need to do it? And the trick is, you can’t just do it once. You have to develop the habit to consistently do what you need to do and to make progress everyday.
Getting even 1% better everyday should be our goal. If we stay in our comfort zone, we will plateau early. But if we keep pushing the limits every day, in 10 years you will be amazed by how far you’ve come.