growth | The Caleb Barney Collection

Searching for peace? Then do this!

If you want peace and tranquillity, focus on saying “no” to more things and doing less. Be selective with what you give your time, energy, and money to. Focus on what’s essential. Ask yourself: what makes the most positive impact on your life from a mental, social/relational, spiritual, financial, and physical standpoint? How can you keep doing those things (or if you’re not doing enough of those, how can you do it more often)?

On the flip side, what are the biggest/most negative stressors in your life? What are things that need to be done, but maybe not by you or not right now? How can you eliminate or minimize those?

Lastly, stop feeling like you’re obligated to say yes to everything. If it excites you and is good for you, say yes! If it needs to be done by you, even if it doesn’t excite you, say yes. But if it doesn’t, you can just as easily decide to say no if that’s what you really want to do.

New information is an invitation to question old opinions

It’s ok to have an opinion on something even if you’re not an expert in that field. But to keep that opinion (whether it be informed or uninformed) may not be logical once new information comes to light.

You should focus on having the right answer, even if that means you were wrong before. Strive to be right as often as possible, but don’t stick with your original opinion that you know is wrong just so you don’t have to say you were wrong before. Everyone is wrong about many things over the course of their lifetimes. But the ones who are generally viewed as the smartest and most successful are the ones who are able to admit when they’re wrong and to move forward when they are presented with more recent information.

You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do

Actions mean more than words. You can say you’re going to do x, y, and z, but if you don’t follow through, your words ring hollow. You begin to lose credibility with your peers. Maybe you have great intentions to actually do what you say, but in the end, what people remember is if you actually did the deed. So whether it is a personal goal of yours (I’m going to work out 5+ days/week), a professional goal (I’m going to call 5+ connections per day), or even relationally (telling your friends you’ll meet them out and then not showing up), if you say you’ll do something and don’t do it, people will eventually stop believing you.

Ultimately, you are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. What is holding you back? Today, and each day moving forward, make a commitment to follow through on what you say AND to do the things to be the person you want to become.

We don’t need an easier life, we need a more purposeful one

“What man actually needs is not a tension less state, but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.” – Viktor Frankl

Often, when we face hardships or when things do go our way, we wish we had it easier. We wish that life would be smooth sailing. But in reality, it is because of the hardships that we are able to enjoy life. Without having them (especially when we have to overcome them to achieve a goal we set out for ourselves), life can get boring. This is why stretch goals are so exciting. They might not seem realistic. They might even scare you a little. But when it’s a goal you’re truly passionate about and interested in achieving, it’s worth the struggle.

Courage and bravery

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

Everyone experiences fear. Many times, we fear what we don’t understand. We make something out to be far worse in our minds than what it will actually be like in reality. But, usually, things aren’t as bad as we make them out to be. Most of the time, the thing we feared turns out to be just a small bump in the road, but once we’ve driven over it and experienced it a few times, we hardly even notice it.

Brave men and women still experience fear. But the difference between them and cowardly men and women is that they are willing to face their fears. They will try to conquer their fears. And they realize that most actions we take in life, even if we fail miserably, will not cause us irreparable harm. If we try something and fail, or if we look dumb, that’s part of the process of getting better. But if you never try anything at all, you’ll always be afraid.