Be content with what you have, but always strive to be better. Put in the effort, but don’t be too hard on yourself if the outcome isn’t what you expected. Go with the flow. “Be water” and you will be much happier.
Tag: happiness
Love
“One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother,” Howard Hunter said.
It only takes a moment to do, but your kids will remember your words long after you say them and your actions after you do them. It will impart on them how to treat their future spouses.
Do you want your kids to be loving, generous, and grateful? Make sure you try to display that with your actions daily. If you diminish what your spouse says or does, if you treat them poorly or with indifference, or if you don’t show them respect, your kids can pick that up and do the same.
If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it.
This is a simple, but true statement:
“If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it.”
The truth is, many of the things we desire most in life won’t come easy. If you want the best marriage, an extremely successful career, lots of money to save/invest or to spend on things you want, amazing health, etc., you’re going to have to work for it. It doesn’t just naturally happen, especially when it is in our programming to embrace being comfortable.
Society has contributed to making our lives as comfortable as possible. It’s kind of a double-edged sword. It’s nice that society has made much of life easy and convenient, but oftentimes, what is easy and convenient is not what’s best for our long-term goals. There are too many exciting things vying for our attention and making us lose focus on what’s important, too many delicious treats/junk food to add to our expanding waistlines, and the affordability of those items seems relatively low. But that’s part of the genius of any good company’s marketing plan…Because, on a case-by-case basis, most of it IS inexpensive. But when these actions are compounded daily – when it becomes the norm to go on a shopping spree instead of saving money, to binge on a Netflix show instead of working out, to going on social media instead of reading a book, or to eat fast food instead of making a healthy meal – that’s when it really costs us a lot.
Our goal should be to get better every day. Whether that’s 10% better, 1% better, or 0.1% better…if we can improve ourselves everyday, we will look back 20 years from now and be amazed at all we have achieved. The key here is to start with your next decision. It can seem overwhelming if you have to make the right decisions all day. But if you just do what you feel is right for your next one, and build momentum from there, you’ll be alright.
Remember that we have choice in everything we do and there are consequences to those choices. Do we want a positive result or a negative one from the decisions we make? Is the short-term pleasure going to outweigh the long-term effects of it? Many of us subconsciously complain about lacking what we desire – a lean body, a big bank account, a perfect marriage – but we don’t put in the effort that it takes to achieve those things. The way I see it, you have two options…Option one is to change your habits and to work hard for what you want. Option two is to stop complaining. You didn’t want the result badly enough to act on it, so stop complaining. Nobody wants to hear you complain anyways – at least not those who have already achieved what you want to achieve.
Reframing your perspective to experience more gratitude
When things don’t go as planned, you can either look at it as a negative or spin it into a positive. For example:
When you’re sore from a workout, it allows you to be grateful for everyday when you feel “normal.”
When you’re sick, it allows you to be grateful for when you’re healthy.
When you got a bad night of sleep, it allows you to be grateful for when you sleep really well (or even moderately well).
We can go on and on with the examples. The point is that things won’t always go your way in life. You may have a plan, but there’s little reason to believe that everything will go exactly according to that plan. You can either pout when that happens and get down on your luck, or you can spin the narrative. Use it to your advantage and learn to really embrace the things we often take for granted.
Just remember, when you’re feeling sick, or tired, or sore, it’s only temporary. What about those who are chronically sick, tired, or sore? What about those people who have it way worse than you – who don’t have access to medicine, to a bed or proper shelter to sleep/live in, or who are physically or mentally handicapped?
It’s easy to make yourself the center of your world, because you’re always with yourself and you’re always aware of how you’re feeling. But once you reframe you’re perspective and start thinking about other people and their situations, you can begin feeling more grateful for even your “bad” days.
Opportunity cost, saving money, and living your rich life
If you want something, you HAVE to give something up to get it – whether that’s time, money, effort, etc. You have to make sacrifices…you can do anything if you set your mind to it, but you can’t do everything. You will have to pick and choose what is most important to you because by saying yes to one thing, you are inherently saying no to something else. It’s opportunity cost.
For example, if you want an expensive new car, you have to give up money to get it. To earn enough money, you have to work for it (trading time and effort for dollars). You’ll also have to save up for it (also costing time, because it won’t happen over night, and effort, because you might be tempted to spend money on other things). So if you also want to go on vacation, go out to eat all the time, go on a shopping spree, etc., but you don’t make enough money, by saying yes to those other things, you are saying no to getting that dream car.
You can’t have all of the toys and live the “rich” life without PAYING for it. What you need to do is redefine what is a rich life for you (it’s different for everyone). Living a rich life doesn’t necessarily mean you have to spend a lot of money. It does mean that you’re allowed to spend money on things that matter most to you though. Life is meant to be enjoyed. When you die, you can’t take that money with you.
But the problem for most people isn’t having too much money leftover when they die, it’s not having enough for their later years. Most people mindlessly spend money on things they don’t really get enjoyment out of. They do this all of their lives. Stop doing this! If it’s not something you truly care about, cut it out of your life or buy off-brand. Save money for the things that matter most to you and when you do spend on something you’ve been saving for, don’t feel regret.