happiness | The Caleb Barney Collection

What is your definition of success?

Everyone has their own definition of success. Even if they don’t have it written down (most don’t, including myself) or it’s not the same definition every time they think of it, when they hear the word success or successful, they have an idea of what it looks like to them at that moment. And it’s different for everyone because we all have different goals in life. For example, if somebody doesn’t want to have children, being a great mother or father would not be a picture of success for them. Some people don’t want to work long hours (or any hours for that matter), so working their way up the corporate ladder would not be there idea of success. Nobody is right or wrong in the situation, it just depends on how you define success.

My current “definition” is that to be truly successful, you need to be able to succeed in many different types of environments. I want to accomplish great things like spending quality time with my family and friends, working towards good physical, mental, and financial health, building a career I can be proud of, taking time for hobbies and games that excite me, etc. I don’t want to be so lopsided that my success in one aspect of life gets in the way of my success in any of the other areas. I want to be complete, well-rounded, and above average in everything I do. Naturally, I will fall short in some areas at some time periods of my life, but if I can get up every time I fall down and keep going, I’ll be satisfied.

What is your definition of success?

Are you justifying your fears?

Stop justifying your fears just so you can stay in your comfort zone. If you do so, you are deliberately holding yourself back, even if it is subconsciously. You give yourself an excuse or you say things like, “well I didn’t really want that anyways,” or, “I have to give up too much to get that,” just to make yourself feel better about not getting what you really want.

In reality, all of the best things in life take work to get. Sometimes, it takes a lot of work. Because if it was easy, everyone would do it.

If you’re OK with taking it easy and not living life to the fullest, that’s OK too. That’s part of the trade-off. But at least be honest with yourself… It’s not because you didn’t really want it, it’s because you didn’t want to have to do what it takes to get it.

Focus on the good, not the bad

When you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. When you focus on what you have, you will always have enough.

Be grateful for what you have. Chances are that if you’re reading this you’re way better off financially than the majority of people in this world. Focus on the good in life and seeing the silver lining in every situation. Train your brain to find what is good and to make the best out of any situation. If you only focus on what is going wrong in your life, eventually that is all you will see.

Let your past make you better, not bitter

Things don’t always go our way. Sometimes people have wronged you intentionally. Sometimes they’ve wronged you accidentally. Sometimes it could be chalked up to being young and stupid. Other times it could be attributed to them being spiteful, prejudiced, or racist.

No matter what the reason, use your past to benefit you. At the very least, you can say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

Find the silver lining in all situations and learn to forgive, but not forget.

Progress, not perfection

If you won’t remember this specific event in a week (let alone in a year or at the end of your life), then stop worrying so much about it. It’s not a big deal. Don’t blow things out of proportion.

So what if you got a B (or C, D, or F) on an assignment? Does that mean that you’ll never succeed in life?

So what that you didn’t get 8 hours of sleep? Does that mean you’re going to be a zombie the next day?

So what if your kids have some chocolate or didn’t eat the most perfectly grown, organic/non-GMO food today? Does that mean that they won’t grow and their health is now in jeopardy?

The point is, we are more resilient than most people think and so are our kids (if we let them). Don’t think that everything has to be perfect, because it won’t be – and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to make it perfect. Go with the flow. Be nice. Treat others well. Do your best everyday. But be kind to yourself. Understand that the goal should be progress, not perfection.