happiness | The Caleb Barney Collection

Your happiness starts with YOU

“To be happy together, you first have to be able to be happy alone.” – Mark Manson

You can’t rely on someone else to make you happy – it has to start with you. If you don’t like yourself, how you look, how you act, what you do, or how you do it, how can you expect someone to else to make you feel happy?

It starts with you. You have to like yourself – to be able to enjoy being by yourself and not always needing someone else to be around to distract or entertain you. Once you do that, you can have lasting happiness with someone else. Otherwise, they can make you forget for a moment, but they can’t make you happy “forever.”

Don’t base your happiness on being with someone else. You need to have a base level of happiness with yourself, then you can add others in the mix (like your spouse/significant other, family, friends, co-workers, etc) to amplify it.

How to get ahead

Do you know how to get ahead? Here are a few tips:

1. Try your best in everything you do. Don’t half-ass anything. If you’re going to take the time to do something, you might as well do the best you can. The time is going to pass anyways, so why would you choose to do anything less than your best?

2. Be interested. The more curious you are, the more you’ll enjoy learning. If you’re interested in something, you can spark someone else’s interest as well and have friends take part in the activity too.

3. Don’t think that you’re above something. If you are asked to do something at your current job, then do it. You’re not entitled to anything. And if you don’t have a job but are offered something that most would consider being beneath you in the eyes of others, really weigh your options before saying no. If you need the money, take the job and keep looking for something better. Don’t rely on unemployment or your parents to take care of you when you’re fully capable of doing so yourself.

4. Have a great attitude. There are a lot of things you can’t control, but one thing you can control is your attitude. Choose to be happy. Choose to see the best in every situation and in everybody. Nobody likes being around a complainer.

5. Look for opportunities. Keep your eyes open. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Keep learning, planning, practicing, and taking action. Opportunities are all around us if we just look for them.

Finding your rich life

What is your rich life? Rich doesn’t necessarily mean having a lot of money. It’s having enough money while being happy most days. Do you enjoy what you do every day (or most days)? Do you get to spend time with loved ones? Do you get to play? Find out how you can get to do something that you like doing every day, where it feels “light” to do it.

Why shouldn’t work be fun? I love the quote, “I take the work that I do seriously, but I don’t take myself seriously at all.” You should care about the work that you do. That doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun doing it though. You should not take yourself so seriously though. If you fail or mess up, that’s fine. You should want your kids to see you fail from time to time just so they know that it happens and it’s not the end of the world. But you should also want them to see you rise up and overcome those failures. You cant be kept down unless you chose to not get back up. Nothing can stop you except yourself.

But…why do you think you want that?

Really think deeply about what it is that you want and why you want that.

Do you truly want it because of an internal desire OR do you want it because society says you should want it?

Are you doing it to impress others?

Don’t waste your time fighting so hard to achieve a goal, look a certain way, do certain things, etc. only to realize that it shouldn’t have been a goal for you at all.

Do you really want that fancy car (and, the real question is, do you want that car for what it will actually cost you)? What is the opportunity cost of owning that? Do you want to be in the best shape of your life for you or to impress others? Why do you want to earn more? Is it so you can provide the best life for yourself and your family or is it so others can know “how successful” you are?

Make sure you are taking steps towards achieving your goals for you. Who cares what other people think? And take the time to make sure it’s the right goal, otherwise it’s like leaning your ladder up against a wall and climbing to the top only to realize that you have the ladder on the wrong wall. You’re moving to move at that point, but when you get to the top, you will be unfulfilled.

Discover your “why” and you’ll find your purpose and meaning in life.

What to do when you’re feeling sad

When you feel sad, go do something. Do something that usually makes you happy. Take your mind off of whatever is bothering you, not to completely distract you from pain, but to let you come back to it later with a different perspective. Go work out, hang out with friends, watch a movie, read, be productive… Movement is key. Don’t sit and wallow in your sorrow. You’re likely not going to come up with a solution to your problem if you only focus on the bad and feel sorry for yourself.

Smile. Laugh. Move. It’s hard to be sad and laugh at the same time. When your body feels good (like during/after a workout), it can trick your mind into feeling good. Get going and you will begin to feel better. And realize, all things pass with time. The sadness you’re currently feeling will eventually go away on its own, but it will go away even quicker if you help the process.