Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
Choose courage over comfort. Just be aware that, as Brene Brown points out in her book Dare to Lead, ”if you choose courage, you will absolutely know failure, disappointment, setback, even heartbreak.”
Courage is tough. It is not for the faint of heart. But, in the long run, the more you choose to be courageous and stay true to yourself, the less regrets you’ll have in life.
“People who live far below their means enjoy a freedom that people busy upgrading their lifestyles can’t fathom.” – Naval Ravikandt
Don’t fall victim to lifestyle creep. If you were happy living on “X” salary per year, as you make more money, you can still be happy living on that same salary. Buying more expensive things doesn’t make you happier, not in the long run. But sharing meaningful experiences with people you care about will bring you lasting happiness. Happiness is a state of mind, not a state on the map. If you’re not happy where you are, moving will not make it better. You must change your mindset to change your life. Choose to be happy. Life is too short to choose anything else.
1. Show them that you want to be with them. Be interested in their stories. Pay them sincere compliments. Make them feel good about themselves and make them feel desired. Ask yourself, are most of your interactions with them positive, negative, or neutral (the silent killer)?
2. Show them appreciation. When they help you, make sure you point out the specifics about how their actions have made your life easier or improved your life in some way. Never forget to thank them and do not take their helpfulness or thoughtfulness for granted. Ask yourself, when was the last time you thanked them for doing something “expected?” Do you still thank them for picking up the groceries, folding the laundry, or taking out the trash? Yes, those things need to be done. But maybe you should be the one to do those things (or, at the very least, say thank you when they get done).
3. Show them respect. Never get into a name-calling argument. Even if you disagree with their opinion or action, approach them with respect. Don’t roll your eyes, make snarky remarks, or make audible sounds (like sighing) to express your disapproval. Avoid being passive aggressive and instead be respectfully upfront with them. Have you noticed yourself doing any of these things? Stop it. And if you do catch yourself doing it, apologize right then and there.
4. Show them love. You can want to hang out with someone, but not love them. You can appreciate what they do for you, but not love them. You can respect someone, but not love them. Even though your significant other should be a treasured friend, don’t lump them into the “friend zone” with everyone else. Show them love and speak their love language. When was the last time you showed your significant other affection? When was the last time you hugged them, kissed them, or…(you get it)? Maybe their love language isn’t physical touch. You could try other things like getting them a gift “just because” or writing them a note each morning. Try different things, but always show your love for them and your relationship stands a good chance of not only surviving, but thriving.
The world reflects your own feelings back to you. Reality is neutral. Nothing is “good or bad,” but our thoughts make it so.
Change your thoughts and you can change your life. Not only can you make things better or worse by what you do, but also what you say, think, and feel. Shift your mindset to a positive one, where every setback is another opportunity to learn and grow, and where every success is a stepping stone to greater achievement. Choose to be happy and helpful. Choose to not let others’ actions or words affect you, unless you it is to have a positive affect on you.
Listen with the same passion with which you want to be heard.
Everyone wants to be heard. You do. I do. We all do. When you’re talking and someone cuts you off mid-sentence, or pulls their phone out, do you like that feeling? Do you ever get the sense that someone’s response seemed almost canned, like it was kind of relevant, but not really, and that the person was just waiting for their turn to make a point? Now, admit it, have you ever done this to someone else?
Stop doing that.
As much as you want to be listened to when you’re talking, so does the person with whom you are talking! Make sure you stop trying to “multitask” and start paying attention to whoever you’re with. This will lead to better, stronger relationships with them and a feeling of connection that benefits you both.
