Tag: happiness

On happiness, gratitude, and perspective

Your worst day is NOT that bad. Keep that in mind whenever you feel down.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. It’s a new opportunity to do what you were supposed to do, to act how you want to act, to say what you need to say.

You have been blessed with so much in this life. Do not take it for granted. After you take a few deep breaths, reflect on what you are grateful for. Pray, if that’s what you’re into. Or meditate if you prefer. Regardless, the better you are able to frame your life/keep things in the proper perspective, the happier you’ll be.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.
“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” — Robert J. Sawyer

Admit it, sometimes you get worked up over things that actually don’t matter. You get mad at the driver who was texting instead of paying attention that the light turned green a full TWO seconds ago! Or that someone performed a task that was not up to your standards. Or that maybe you didn’t live up to to someone else’s standards…

Regardless of the scenario, I think we tend to make things out to be bigger than they actually are. That’s society today. Even the news, which people used to turn to for “unbiased” facts have become opinion shows that catastrophize every little story to make it more exciting or to make it seem like the sky is falling. That’s how they get more views, better ratings, and more advertisement dollars, after all.

But what if we decided to take a different approach. Instead of paying attention to the trivial stuff – the stuff that doesn’t matter – what if we just left it alone? If we learn to either ignore those things altogether OR we reframe them and see them for what they actually are (non-important events that won’t affect our lives), we will find much more inner peace.

Follow this simple rule…if you won’t remember this specific event in five years, don’t waste five minutes of your time thinking about it. In the grand scheme of life, we need to focus on what is essential to us. What brings us the most joy? Who matters most in our lives? Spend time doing those things and being with those people. Don’t waste your time getting into social media arguments. Let the little things go.

Random thoughts

A few simple tips to live by…

Be kind, but don’t be a pushover.

Be content, but never stop striving to be better.

Be humble in winning, but gracious in losing.

Be confident, but not arrogant.

Be a good listener, but don’t be afraid to speak up.

Forgive, but don’t forget.

Find a way to positively contribute to others every single day.

Lastly, don’t pay attention to how others think or feel about you. That’s their issue. This is not to confuse being mean or rude to others. Do what you believe to be right, which includes treating others with respect and being nice. But don’t change who you are or how you act because you think people will respond better to it. Most people will like you more for being genuine, which means you’ll make mistakes sometimes, but at least you’re not a robot. At least you’ll be real. And if you do make a mistake or realize you’ve wronged someone, own up to it. Apologize.

Mastery and challenge

What brings us happiness? A balance of mastery and challenge. This is a paradox as a life with only mastery and no challenge would be boring. Imagine playing a 3 year old in a game of checkers. You would always win and there would be no challenge. But a life with only challenges and no mastery would be equally, if not more, dreadful. It would be like constantly getting sand kicked in your face. And just when you’re about to get up again, someone shoves you down. A life of only challenges yet no mastery is not a life of happiness.

We need a balance between the two. With mastery brings a sense of accomplishment and of overcoming difficulties that not everyone is willing to attempt. But if you only stay within your comfort zone, in the domain which you have mastered, you will soon find yourself bored. And a bored mind is not optimized for maximum happiness. Instead, you need another challenge, something to take you out of your comfort zone, but a challenge that is still possible to overcome. And then the cycle continues, as anything that challenges you is inherently something you have not mastered yet.

Influence vs. control

You can influence others, but you can’t control them. Others can influence you, but they can’t control you. You get to decide what you do or don’t do. Don’t blame someone else for “making” you do something or feel some way. They may have influence over you, but only you get to determine if they control you or not.

Let’s take that a step further and apply it to life circumstances. We don’t get to control what happens in our environment. We can influence it to an extent and it can influence us but we don’t control it and it doesn’t control us.

Don’t blame the economy, the government, the president, your boss, or anyone else for something that isn’t right in your life. They’re only a small part of the problem. The bigger part of the problem is your attitude and your actions.

The good news is that if you’re the majority of the problem, you’re also the majority of the solution. Work on fixing yourself and your life will get better. No matter the circumstances, you can always try to improve your situation by improving your attitude, being prepared, working hard, and being kind to others. If you do this everyday, you’ll soon find out that outside circumstances eventually have less and less influence (and absolutely no control) on your life.