Tag: happiness

Phrases to cut out of your life

1) “You always/you never”…Usually, when we use this phrase, we’re blaming someone for something. You always do this thing wrong. You never do this thing right…when in reality, that’s just not true. They may do something that irritates you, but you need to do a better job of explaining to them why it upsets you. If they don’t change (and even if they do, they’ll still likely forget from time to time), do your best to let it go. You’ve said your piece. You can’t force someone to do something.

2) “Why do you/why are you”…I’m only referring to using this in an accusatory tone of voice. “Why are you ___?” instantly puts whomever you’re questioning in a defensive position (much like the “you always/never phrase above). Instead, try to ask them how they’re feeling, if anything is wrong, what their thought process was that caused them to feel/act that way, etc.

3) “I have to”…You technically don’t have to do anything. You get to do that thing. Work on being more grateful for the opportunity to do it. You get to go to work today – to earn a living, to accomplish a task, to pay for food/water/shelter, etc. Change your attitude.

4) “I can’t”…Your mind is a powerful thing. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something, you’ll believe it. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” So while you may be unable to do something right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t always be able to not do it. Instead of saying “I can’t,” ask yourself “how can I?”

5) “That’s impossible”…See the paragraph above for “I can’t.” There are some things that don’t seem possible, but if someone else has achieved it, you already know that it is possible. Plus, how many times has the human race done something that most people thought was impossible (like sailing around the world, flying in an airplane, going to space, etc)?

6) “You make me”…Once again, this is a very accusatory statement and will likely escalate the argument rather than diffuse it. But you should also remember that you have to take responsibility for how you feel. If someone “makes you mad,” do you not have any control over your own emotions? If not, you can be easily manipulated by anyone who knows how to push your buttons. Change your attitude/perspective.

Ways to improve your physical health

As we approach the new year, and with it , New Years Resolutions, it’s time to think about how you can improve your physical health. I’m a firm believer that you have to think of the body holistically, and to be the healthiest version of you mentally, emotionally, etc, that you need to be the healthiest version physically as well. But where do you start? Here are a few thoughts…

Start with natural movement. What do you do in everyday life? Squat (like when you’re going to sit in a chair or on the toilet), deadlift (like when you’re picking up groceries), do farmers carries (like when you’re carrying those groceries inside), overhead press (like when you’re picking your kids up over your head), do sit-ups and Turkish getups (like when you’re getting up off the floor), etc.

Change the variety, volume, and frequency of your movements. Sometimes do light weight (or body weight) for high reps. Sometimes do heavy weight for low reps. Change how often you’re working – whether that’s changing rest periods in between sets or occasionally throwing in a second workout for the day. Keep your body guessing – but don’t do things on a whim. It should still be structured/be according to a plan.

Change your movement types. Jump, crawl, run, hang, push, pull, twist, walk, run, climb, carry, improve your combat/self-defense skills, and practice swimming or being in the pool.

Be barefoot outside. Get dirty. Workout in cold weather and warm weather. Work out for functionality, not just for aesthetics. Work out for utility and longevity.

Strengthen your ankles, knees, hips, shoulders, elbows, wrists, and neck.

Do yoga (isometric holds, stretching, balance).

Do an obstacle course or make your own version…practice on the balance beam, monkey bars, and agility ladder. Use 5-gallon buckets for carries, go over short walls to hurdle or flip over, tall walls to climb, have a sprint zone, a bear crawl/crab walk zone, 5-cone agility, pull-ups, squats, pushups, handstand holds/pushups. Go ruck in the woods.

Lastly, to make sure your body has enough energy to do all of this, get enough quality sleep, drink enough water, and focus on eating a good/clean diet.

A “don’t” list of traits…

I think a lot about the traits I admire most – integrity, work ethic, respect, and positivity are just a few. But recently, I thought of the traits that “trigger” me the most. Not surprisingly, they are mostly opposites of what I look for.

For example, if someone is not honest or if they only tell half truths to mislead/deceive people, I immediately feel that I can’t trust them. How do I know they won’t cover up the actual truth just to look good? Or that they won’t tell me something so they can gain/profit from it?

When I see lazy people (employed or not), I don’t want to associate with them. Whether they are lazy when it comes to their work habits, taking care of themselves, etc…I often find that it carries over into other parts of their lives too.

When I see people who are consistently rude, I don’t want to associate with them. Often times they say it’s sarcasm or that they’re telling it like it is, but I feel that’s just an excuse. There’s usually a better way to get your point across.

And when I see people who are always negative, often they’ll call them realists. But what you think, your life will become. It’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re not even giving yourself a chance if you’re not optimistic/positive. A lot of people will think you’re crazy if you have high goals and high expectations. I think that maybe they just set the bar too low and settle for mediocrity.

What’s on your list of traits to avoid?

Default: Forgiveness

Train yourself to default to forgiveness. If someone offends you or if they’ve wronged you, have it planned ahead of time that you will forgive them. Rise above your circumstances.

If you hold a grudge, it’s only hurting yourself. Let go. That doesn’t mean that you should forget what happened. But you should use what you learned from that experience and move forward. You may trust someone less, but holding hate in your heart will slowly destroy you.

Searching for peace? Then do this!

If you want peace and tranquillity, focus on saying “no” to more things and doing less. Be selective with what you give your time, energy, and money to. Focus on what’s essential. Ask yourself: what makes the most positive impact on your life from a mental, social/relational, spiritual, financial, and physical standpoint? How can you keep doing those things (or if you’re not doing enough of those, how can you do it more often)?

On the flip side, what are the biggest/most negative stressors in your life? What are things that need to be done, but maybe not by you or not right now? How can you eliminate or minimize those?

Lastly, stop feeling like you’re obligated to say yes to everything. If it excites you and is good for you, say yes! If it needs to be done by you, even if it doesn’t excite you, say yes. But if it doesn’t, you can just as easily decide to say no if that’s what you really want to do.