happiness | The Caleb Barney Collection

We don’t need an easier life, we need a more purposeful one

“What man actually needs is not a tension less state, but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.” – Viktor Frankl

Often, when we face hardships or when things do go our way, we wish we had it easier. We wish that life would be smooth sailing. But in reality, it is because of the hardships that we are able to enjoy life. Without having them (especially when we have to overcome them to achieve a goal we set out for ourselves), life can get boring. This is why stretch goals are so exciting. They might not seem realistic. They might even scare you a little. But when it’s a goal you’re truly passionate about and interested in achieving, it’s worth the struggle.

It’s your choice

What you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. — “Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become.” – Heraclitus

What you think about and what you do on a daily basis is who you become.

Are you thinking positive thoughts or negative ones?

Are you surrounded by optimistic people who lift others up or people who gossip and only talk about what’s wrong in their life?

Do you walk around with a smile on your face or do you mope around like Eeyore?

You get to choose who you become by controlling your thoughts, words, and actions. You can’t change what you’ve done in the past, but you can make a decision to do better today and, more specifically, start with your next action. Live intentionally and you’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish/who you can become.

You have to get started

A journey of 1,000 miles begins with just one step. — “The journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step.” – Lao Tzu

How often do we look at success stories and either become envious of the person who “made it” or think to ourselves, “I could never do that.”

The truth is, we are more capable than we think. Everyone has to start somewhere. Sometimes, our starting lines are staggered, as some people grow up in better/worse environments, with more/less natural abilities, resources, and privileges. But that doesn’t mean that we should give up before we even get started!

Start where you are. Put blinders on. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you start versus where anyone else starts, it only matters that you start AND that you keep going. Because the situation is what it is. You can’t do anything to change the past – whether it’s your past actions/inactions or your parents’ past actions/inactions. You are where you are and the only thing that can change that is you. You can choose to make your life better or you can make excuses for why you can’t do something.

The key to any great story though, is that the hero of the story got started. It started with a single step. And the best stories – the most compelling ones – aren’t the ones where everything comes easy to the hero. The hero often will have doubts and have to go through trials and tribulations. But the reason we know about these heroes is because they overcame the difficulties they faced and persevered. Whether you think about Frodo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, or even Jesus Christ. They all started somewhere. They all had challenges they needed to overcome. But to get to where they needed to be, each of them kept taking the next step.

So take a look at your life. Are you where you want to be? Are you proud of the story you’re writing? We are each the heroes of our own journeys. Refuse to play the victim, the villain, or a passive character. Be the hero! Take the first step and keep on going.

Tomorrow is a new day

At the end of the day, you might have some regrets about what you did or didn’t do or what you said or didn’t say, but you have to let it go.

You can’t change that anymore.

The best thing you can do is to move on. If you feel bad about something, apologize or do something to make it right – don’t dwell on things you can’t change.

Half-baked thoughts: Varying levels of parenting

Levels of parenting:

1) Being a parent = Having a child.

2) Being a good parent = Taking care of your child/children.

3) Being a great parent = Taking care of yourself and your child/children.

It doesn’t take much to be a parent, but it does take a lot of time, effort, and sacrifice to be a good or great parent. The difference between good and great might not be what you think though…instead of giving more to your kids and never letting them struggle, I think a great parent lets their kids find things out on their own.

A great parent lays the foundation for their children – making them feel loved and safe, providing a roof over their heads, and giving them access to healthy foods. A great parent also teaches their kids manners, how to respect others and to be kind, and to have a good work ethic.

But a great parent is not a helicopter parent (or, a lawnmower parent). They don’t hover over their children – never letting their kids experience failure or disappointment. They also don’t clear a path for their children – making their lives so easy that they never experience struggle.

Lastly (at least for this post), a great parent takes care of themself as well as their children. They eat right, exercise their mind and body, and are financially responsible. They are there to serve as a role model for the kids, who inevitably will learn from the parent’s actions. This not only allows the parent to have their own time to recharge, but it also gives the kids some independence from their parents.