“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott
If you ever feel stressed out, burned out, or overwhelmed, take some time to just unplug. Sometimes we’re so used to being “on” that we just need a break. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s understanding that giving yourself the night off, or maybe even just a few minutes to yourself, will help you reset.
If it’s possible, take time to sit in silence, to take some deep breaths, to get away from technology and/or some of your ongoing duties. Most things won’t permanently break if you step away for a second. Almost everything is fixable and it will all be ok. The moment you stop putting so much pressure on yourself and give yourself permission to reboot, the less anxiety you’ll feel. Love yourself and forgive yourself enough to know that you’re not perfect (nobody is) and that you’re human and need to unplug from time to time.
If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it.
This is a simple, but true statement:
“If you aren’t willing to work for it, don’t complain about not having it.”
The truth is, many of the things we desire most in life won’t come easy. If you want the best marriage, an extremely successful career, lots of money to save/invest or to spend on things you want, amazing health, etc., you’re going to have to work for it. It doesn’t just naturally happen, especially when it is in our programming to embrace being comfortable.
Society has contributed to making our lives as comfortable as possible. It’s kind of a double-edged sword. It’s nice that society has made much of life easy and convenient, but oftentimes, what is easy and convenient is not what’s best for our long-term goals. There are too many exciting things vying for our attention and making us lose focus on what’s important, too many delicious treats/junk food to add to our expanding waistlines, and the affordability of those items seems relatively low. But that’s part of the genius of any good company’s marketing plan…Because, on a case-by-case basis, most of it IS inexpensive. But when these actions are compounded daily – when it becomes the norm to go on a shopping spree instead of saving money, to binge on a Netflix show instead of working out, to going on social media instead of reading a book, or to eat fast food instead of making a healthy meal – that’s when it really costs us a lot.
Our goal should be to get better every day. Whether that’s 10% better, 1% better, or 0.1% better…if we can improve ourselves everyday, we will look back 20 years from now and be amazed at all we have achieved. The key here is to start with your next decision. It can seem overwhelming if you have to make the right decisions all day. But if you just do what you feel is right for your next one, and build momentum from there, you’ll be alright.
Remember that we have choice in everything we do and there are consequences to those choices. Do we want a positive result or a negative one from the decisions we make? Is the short-term pleasure going to outweigh the long-term effects of it? Many of us subconsciously complain about lacking what we desire – a lean body, a big bank account, a perfect marriage – but we don’t put in the effort that it takes to achieve those things. The way I see it, you have two options…Option one is to change your habits and to work hard for what you want. Option two is to stop complaining. You didn’t want the result badly enough to act on it, so stop complaining. Nobody wants to hear you complain anyways – at least not those who have already achieved what you want to achieve.
Everyone has their own definition of success. Even if they don’t have it written down (most don’t, including myself) or it’s not the same definition every time they think of it, when they hear the word success or successful, they have an idea of what it looks like to them at that moment. And it’s different for everyone because we all have different goals in life. For example, if somebody doesn’t want to have children, being a great mother or father would not be a picture of success for them. Some people don’t want to work long hours (or any hours for that matter), so working their way up the corporate ladder would not be there idea of success. Nobody is right or wrong in the situation, it just depends on how you define success.
My current “definition” is that to be truly successful, you need to be able to succeed in many different types of environments. I want to accomplish great things like spending quality time with my family and friends, working towards good physical, mental, and financial health, building a career I can be proud of, taking time for hobbies and games that excite me, etc. I don’t want to be so lopsided that my success in one aspect of life gets in the way of my success in any of the other areas. I want to be complete, well-rounded, and above average in everything I do. Naturally, I will fall short in some areas at some time periods of my life, but if I can get up every time I fall down and keep going, I’ll be satisfied.
If you won’t remember this specific event in a week (let alone in a year or at the end of your life), then stop worrying so much about it. It’s not a big deal. Don’t blow things out of proportion.
So what if you got a B (or C, D, or F) on an assignment? Does that mean that you’ll never succeed in life?
So what that you didn’t get 8 hours of sleep? Does that mean you’re going to be a zombie the next day?
So what if your kids have some chocolate or didn’t eat the most perfectly grown, organic/non-GMO food today? Does that mean that they won’t grow and their health is now in jeopardy?
The point is, we are more resilient than most people think and so are our kids (if we let them). Don’t think that everything has to be perfect, because it won’t be – and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to make it perfect. Go with the flow. Be nice. Treat others well. Do your best everyday. But be kind to yourself. Understand that the goal should be progress, not perfection.
“To be happy together, you first have to be able to be happy alone.” – Mark Manson
You can’t rely on someone else to make you happy – it has to start with you. If you don’t like yourself, how you look, how you act, what you do, or how you do it, how can you expect someone to else to make you feel happy?
It starts with you. You have to like yourself – to be able to enjoy being by yourself and not always needing someone else to be around to distract or entertain you. Once you do that, you can have lasting happiness with someone else. Otherwise, they can make you forget for a moment, but they can’t make you happy “forever.”
Don’t base your happiness on being with someone else. You need to have a base level of happiness with yourself, then you can add others in the mix (like your spouse/significant other, family, friends, co-workers, etc) to amplify it.
