There’s a spectrum of helpfulness and hinderance. For example, helping (or not) around the house. If you don’t lift a finger around the house, obviously it is not helpful. But on the other hand, if you try to be Superman (or Superwoman) and do everything yourself, you are actually hurting those around you more than you think. Those who live in the household need to contribute to the household. If they don’t have any duties, 1) they won’t feel useful; 2) they will become unaccustomed to building good work habits; 3) they will not learn necessary life skills like doing laundry, doing dishes, taking out the trash, starting a lawn mower/knowing how to use it, etc. They develop a “learned helplessness” because you didn’t let them do anything.
In short, doing everything can give you a sense of accomplishment because you’re checking things off the “to-do” list, but it is hurting those you love in the long run. Another unintended side effect is you will often build a resentment towards that person (“why aren’t they helping me?”)
Just as with everything else in life, there is a balance between doing, delegating, and eliminating. Don’t do everything. See if your partner likes certain chores more than others. Maybe he/she likes loading the dishwasher and you don’t. Great! That can be their chore. Maybe you like folding laundry, but not putting it away. Ok! You can split that task up. Get your kids involved too. Yes, their life should involve a lot of playing, but if you don’t teach them to have responsibilities then you aren’t doing them any favors when they eventually enter the real world.
