Change and influence

Tony Gaskins was credited with saying, “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

I 100% agree with that statement. But I don’t want to just leave it at that. I would add that if you CAN do something about it, then do something. A lot of things are outside of our control, but inside of our influence. We have to take responsibility for our destiny by taking control of our effort and actions.

Did we try our best? Did we give it our all? Is something we’re doing (or not doing) helping produce the results we want? How is our mindset, our diet, exercise, and sleep? Are we learning new things? Are we feeling emotionally and spiritually fulfilled? What are we feeling anxious or stressed about and why?

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer…

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Doubts and confidence

“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.” – Alexandre Dumas

Before you start something, you should at the very least have some sort of hope that you will succeed. If you think it’s possible, you give yourself a chance to achieve it.

Beyond hope though, you should strive to have confidence in yourself. The difference is that when you are hopeful, you’re not necessarily thinking that you are the reason for your success. With hopes and wishes, outside influences are the main reasons for your success or failure. You begin to rely on luck or on other people in order to achieve. But with confidence, while you still may need assistance from others, you understand that you determine your future with your actions.

If you doubt yourself or lack confidence, you almost guarantee that you will not succeed in whatever specific thing you are trying to achieve. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it will not only show in your actions, but others will pick up on your lack of confidence as well. If you’re selling something, the people whom you are selling to will feel that your lack of confidence is a reflection of how you feel about the product/service you are offering. As a result, they don’t buy from you (I don’t blame them), which then lowers your confidence even more.

Be confident in yourself. If you don’t think that you can do something yet, learn more about it. Read about it. Ask people who are already in that field about best practices and common pitfalls. Eventually though, you have to learn by doing. Once you put enough practice in, you will earn the confidence to succeed. And if you still don’t think you can do it, then you’re probably right. Your mind will find ways as to why you can’t or shouldn’t do it and it will become your truth.