What are your core values? Have you ever thought of ranking them in order of importance?
In a perfect world, you would be able to always stand by your core values. But life isn’t perfect. Sometimes other people’s actions affect you and you need to respond. If push comes to shove and you encounter a situation where you have to decide between core value #1 and core value #2, which would you choose?
For example, say you have core values that include integrity and loyalty. Which one comes first? For many people, the answer would be loyalty. And while I don’t blame them for that answer, I feel you need to put your personal integrity above being loyal to a person, an organization, or a cause. Here’s why…you can control your actions, which make up your integrity, but you can’t control the actions of others. So if you are loyal to someone and they do something heinous, do you stay loyal to them?
Let’s use an example to illustrate my point. My family is critically important to me. They play the biggest role in my life, bar none. But despite that, my personal integrity and the choices I decide to make still have to be my priority over loyalty. In this example, let’s say a family member robs a bank or cheats on their spouse. Do I defend them at all costs? No. That was their decision and with that decision comes potential consequences. If they don’t like the consequences, then they shouldn’t have taken the action. They don’t get to take only the “good parts” and do whatever they want without taking the bad parts that come with their decisions. If I defend them or lie for them to cover up their mistake, not only does it reinforce their poor decision (because now they have no consequences for their actions), but it also makes me lose integrity. You can only be accountable for your own actions. This is why I would prioritize my integrity over loyalty.
