Tag: influence

Change and influence

Tony Gaskins was credited with saying, “If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

I 100% agree with that statement. But I don’t want to just leave it at that. I would add that if you CAN do something about it, then do something. A lot of things are outside of our control, but inside of our influence. We have to take responsibility for our destiny by taking control of our effort and actions.

Did we try our best? Did we give it our all? Is something we’re doing (or not doing) helping produce the results we want? How is our mindset, our diet, exercise, and sleep? Are we learning new things? Are we feeling emotionally and spiritually fulfilled? What are we feeling anxious or stressed about and why?

It’s just like the Serenity Prayer…

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Teach yourself to control your emotions

Teach yourself to control your emotions
Teach yourself to control your emotions.

If you let the words or actions of somebody else get a rise out of you, if you let a situation get the best of you, if you can’t control your emotions, you open up the door to be manipulated by others. Whether that’s allowing outside influences to “make” you angry, sad, or even happy, that’s giving away your power.

If someone knows how to push your buttons, they can control you to a certain degree. But if you are able to master your emotions, and to remain calm in the heat of battle, you can control your destiny.

Influence, not force

We can’t make somebody do you anything. We can try to persuade them or influence them. We can try to use logic and appeal to their emotions. Studies show that people respond most to fear, but there are always the outliers who will respond better to the idea of pleasure.

The bottom line is that it’s not up to us. We don’t have to make someone say something, do some thing, or believe something. The only thing we can focus on is giving advice if they want it, speaking our opinion when the time is right, and hoping that the outcomes turn out the best for that individual.

Power

We want to power not so we can abuse it, but to make sure that we are never taken advantage of. But there are different types of power. For example, being wealthy is powerful. If you are independently wealthy and not financially reliant on your W-2 income, if you feel like you are mistreated or if you just don’t like your job you can leave it for something else.

Other types of power include strength (physical and mental), intelligence, and influence.

If you physical strength or if you know how to defend yourself, you have power. People will think twice about messing with you before selecting an easier target.

If you have mental strength, you have power. Others will not be able to manipulate your emotions if you know how to keep them in check.

If you have intelligence, you have power. You will be able to detect when someone is lying or trying to mislead you. You can use your intuition and what you already have a base knowledge of to figure out if something makes sense.

If you have influence (such as a huge social media following, but even with your friends or family), you have power. Your words can affect how people think, what they say/do, how they vote, etc.

Once again, it’s not that we want this power to hold over someone else. It’s actually the complete opposite. We want to have the power so that others can’t exercise that power on us.

How are you increasing your power today?

Real life Inception

People are emotional, not rational. Appeal to their emotions first and then help to rationalize their decision. If you can get them to articulate how they feel about something, if you can get them to self actualize or self realize it, the idea will stick. If you tell them how to feel, they will know that the idea did not come from themselves and they will be more likely to dismiss it down the road. It’s just like the movie Inception – they have to feel like the idea originated from themselves.