Tag: integrity

Courage to look within

Have the courage to face your weaknesses. Where are you lagging behind? What faults do you have? What mistakes do you repeatedly make? How can you improve in these areas?

Have the courage to admit you were wrong. It will be hard to look in the mirror instead of pointing out the faults of others. Or to admit your mistakes without caveats or giving excuses…just own them. Don’t say, “I only did this because…” or “I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t do this.” That’s not admitting your mistake, not really.

Focus on your actions and how you can improve the situation, not on what you did right and what the other person did wrong. Don’t go in with the idea of having an “unwritten and unspoken agreement” (something in your head only) that when you apologize for X, the other will/should apologize for Y. That’s not how it works. Be sorry when you’re sorry. If you only use the words but don’t actually mean it, others will eventually see through it.

Courage

Should courage be the foundation of everyone’s core values? I believe justice, integrity, generosity, and perseverance are also very important values to have, but without the courage to act on what we need to do, will any of those virtues be followed in times of trouble?

We need to be courageous to face uncomfortable situations. Without courage, we are more likely to default to whatever is easiest. Sometimes, to be courageous will require us to confront others, whether they are our peers, someone in a position of authority, or maybe someone you are supposed to be leading. Hopefully we don’t need to confront others often, but it will be necessary at some point in life, regardless of who you are.

Are we standing up for what we believe in, even if it means that we may suffer for doing so? Without courage, we won’t speak up when we see injustice. Without courage, we won’t do what we know is right just because there are roadblocks (like other people). Without courage, maybe we will be less likely to give because we fear we won’t have enough. Without courage, we will give up at the first sign of struggle.

Practice being courageous. It will take time and we will mess up many times along the way. But if we give ourselves some grace, and keep trying to do what is right no matter the consequences, eventually being courageous will become easier for us. Then, not only will we be able to sleep better at night knowing we stood up for what we believe, but we will also gain the respect/admiration of others.

Trust bank

Judge a person based on their actions, not their words. People can say whatever they want, and often say what they think you want to hear. Don’t have “happy ears” and take them at their word unless they have a proven track record of following through to do what they say. Make them earn that trust first. They have to build up that “trust bank account.” Every time they keep their word or do something honorable/commendable, they are making a deposit into their trust bank account. If they start to be dishonest, untrustworthy, or make questionable moral decisions, they are making withdrawals. If they make too many withdrawals and not enough deposits, they will go bankrupt with your trust bank.

The grandma test

Have core values and principles guide your decisions. If you have those in place, whenever you face a specific circumstance which goes against your core values, you already have an answer of what not to do. The potential downfalls will be gray areas though. Be careful to react to events which do not have a clear answer. Try to prolong making a decision, if possible (especially an irreversible decision for something large). Gray areas can be portals to bad decisions.

One thing that you can do to minimize making bad choices is perform the “grandma test.” The grandma test is simply asking yourself if you would feel comfortable or proud telling your grandma what you just did. Are you embarrassed or ashamed by your actions? Would you not want to tell your grandma how you acted in a particular situation? If so, it does not pass the grandma test and you should not do that.

True wealth – it may be different than you think

What is enough for you? Will more of something make you happy or can you be content with what you have? How much “extra” do you need?

Surplus can lead to lifestyle creep. It can inflate your ego…are you buying that to impress others or do you actually gain enjoyment from it? Will you use it once and forget about it?

It’s important to keep pushing for more, but it’s also important to put everything in perspective. Money, fame, or “stuff” should never be prioritized over family, friendships, integrity, or health. True wealth is having strong relationships and good health.