Your guide to a healthier perspective of life
“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton
If you’re not the type of person who loves creating joy/happiness (usually an outgoing/extroverted person with a positive outlook on life), you can still spread joy/happiness by returning the favor. Smile, be polite, ask how someone’s day is going and genuinely care to listen to their response, say thank you…there are a lot of simple things that you can do to help spread happiness.
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain
Joy, happiness, and laughter are contagious! Even if you are not happy, trying to make others happy can help improve your mood as well.
If you’re moping around, you may get attention in the short-term. Nice people or people who care about you will ask how you’re doing and try to offer encouragement or advice. But if you’re constantly down in the dumps, eventually people will not want to hang around you as much because you’ll drag their mood down too.
Be happy. Try to make others feel good. The more you can genuinely make others laugh or be happy, the more they’ll want to do the same for you. And you get the positive benefit of doing something nice for others, which will increase your happiness.
You’ve been talking about how you want to do this or how you’d like to do that…but how long have you been saying this?
Stop procrastinating. If you want to do something, make it happen. Just do it.
It all starts with taking action. Sure, you need to plan and prepare. But you can only do that for so long. Eventually, you’re just lying to yourself that you need more time, more money, more…something…
When are you actually going to pull the trigger and do what you want to do? Do you want to get healthier? Start today. Do you want to go on vacation? Book it today.
What if you wait ten years to do something, only to find out you absolutely love it? Wouldn’t you want more time to experience that thing? Start now and live without regret. Because even if the experience isn’t everything you dreamed it would be, at least you would know if you like it or not. You would have clarity on what is, and not worry about “what if.” Stop waiting and just do it.
Stop comparing yourself to others. You think that you’re several rungs down on a ladder from them (or several rungs above them) when, in reality, you might not be on the same ladder! If your goals are different from theirs (which everyone’s goals are to a degree) then how can you say that you are ahead of or behind someone?
Comparison is the thief of joy. When you look at others and envy their position, what you often fail to realize is how lucky you are. No matter what your circumstances, you have it better than someone else. Use your past experiences to your advantage. Be ethical about it, understand what privileges you’ve been granted, but don’t feel bad about it.
Be grateful for where you are in life and what you have, but don’t be complacent. Always strive to be better, to help more people, and the results will come. You’re not doing yourself any favors by comparing yourself to others. You can use other people as examples for inspiration or even for what decisions NOT to make, but avoid comparing your actual life to others. What you see on social media is only part of their life.
Finally, remember that you can always learn from anyone – whether they’re older or younger than you, make more/less money than you, have different beliefs/core values, etc. Keep an open mind and remember that even if you disagree with 99% of what they say, if you try to understand their point of view it will open your mind to new ways of thinking.
“Love implies anger. The man who is angered by nothing cares about nothing.” – Edward Abbey
There are two things I would make note of when reading this quote…
First, I would expand the quote to say that love not only implies anger, but sadness as well. If you lose something you love, even if only temporarily, there are a range of emotions you could feel, including anger or sadness. Feeling passionately means you care deeply. The opposite of happiness is neither anger nor sadness – it’s apathy. It’s not feeling anything at all.
The second thing I think of when I see this quote is I hope people don’t use it as an excuse to be angry. I could see someone saying they’re only angry because they care – justifying their improper actions. While they may love you or care about you, they might just be getting angry because they are possessive, controlling, or mean-spirited. Or, they may care, but it’s caring less about another person and more about their reputation. They wouldn’t say it out loud, but deep down they’re getting angry because they care more about themselves than anyone else, and what you’re doing is hurting their status/ego.
One final note relating to this topic…
When you love someone or something deeply, you’re bound to get into disagreements or feel disappointment occasionally. How you express yourself when you feel that way will make a world of difference in how healthy your relationships are though. Don’t lash out at them. Don’t act like a child who doesn’t get his way. Treat them with the love and respect they deserve and try to talk through your feelings. It’s not healthy to erupt with anger, but it’s not healthy to bottle up your emotions either. Remember how lucky you are when you feel these negative emotions. Feeling strongly just means you’ve been fortunate enough to care deeply about something/someone. As Dr. Seuss said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
