Tag: leadership

Influence vs control

You can’t make anyone do something they don’t want to do. Or, if you do get them to do it and they didn’t want to do it in the first place (if they didn’t think they needed to do it/didn’t see value in doing it), they won’t benefit from it the way you think they will. If they are not open to it and they’re not mentally ready to make the change, you’ll both end up wasting time and getting frustrated with each other.

We can influence another person’s actions, but we can’t control their actions. Despite the fact that we may truly believe it will help that person, they have to be the ones who want to do the activity, to make the change, and to benefit from the action. If they don’t want it, it won’t work.

Try to appeal to their emotions first. Why should they want to do what you’re asking them to do? What are the benefits to them? What’s most important to them and how will it improve that? Once you’ve got their attention and they have bought in, then you can reason with them logically. Don’t forget this part (logic) either. Emotions come and go. Logic will stick with them and help them understand why it’s important, but logic does not create the “want” of doing the action.

Consistency and predictability

Good leaders (including good parents) should be consistent and predictable with their actions and responses. What kid/employee would want to “walk around on eggshells” everyday, not knowing if their actions are going to make their parent/boss go berserk?

Aim to be consistent in what you say and how you act. Reward the same actions on a day-to-day basis, and punish the same actions on a day-to-day basis. Don’t be so temperamental. Those around you should know, “if I do X, my boss will be pleased with me. But if I do Y, they will not be happy.”

If we set clear expectations from the beginning, and follow through by rewarding/punishing accordingly, everyone will know the rules of the game and understand how they can win.

Tips on leadership

It is just as important to reward good behavior as it is to punish misconduct.

When an employee’s (or a child’s) negative behaviors are tolerated, it can be detrimental to the health, mindset, and culture of the rest of the business (or family).

Remember to praise in public and to reprimand in private. This is a general rule (some people need to be scolded in public if, after several attempts to talk in private, doesn’t work).

Care about people first. When you show you care about them, that you respect them, they will work harder to achieve a common goal.

Clarity through simplification

Simplify to clarify.

If you can answer a question completely in 7 words, don’t use 8. If you can use the most simple language that even a child can understand, don’t use fancy words to possibly confuse others. If you do so, you’re doing so out of your own ego. You’re signaling to others “how smart you are.” Because if you were truly smart, you would not feel the need to prove it to others. Instead, your main focus would be to pass along information as clearly and concisely as possible, so that everyone listening understands and can put it into practice.