Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.
People will always want to talk about themselves, to boast about what they’ve done, to insert their opinion into the conversation. This is considered normal. But we should strive to be different. Different stands out. Different makes people notice, even if they’re not sure why.
Instead of talking about your accomplishments, lift others up. Instead of gossiping, speak only truths about situations and only say something about a person if you’ve already said it to them personally. Instead of complaining, be positive. See the glass half full – being realistic, but optimistic.
When others are talking, listen. Look them in the eyes. Ask interesting questions (showing your interest), add verbal and nonverbal cues to urge them to continue talking. Be excited and add to the conversation when it’s appropriate. Don’t interrupt them, or if you do, do it sparingly and only to show your excitement matches theirs.
Don’t dominate conversations. The other person/people should walk away not feeling like they were spoken down to or talked at, but like they had a genuine conversation and contributed to it.
When you are in a leadership role (and everybody is to one degree or another) be your true self. Don’t try to emulate someone else. If you want to you take bits and pieces from leaders you admire, absolutely feel free to do that. But if you want to just copy someone else, you will never be the best leader. Because at best, you will be a poor man’s version of whoever it is you’re trying to imitate. For example, nobody is a better Abraham Lincoln or Theodore Roosevelt than Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. They were great because they were themselves. They did things as they saw fit. If you try to do exactly as if they would’ve done, you’re going to fall short. It’s best to learn from others, but still implement your own style.
One difference between great leaders and great managers is the ability to innovate. Being creative, progressive, and moving forward with new ideas is important for visionary leaders. But keeping the boat from rocking too much and making sure to implement the visionary’s ideas intelligently are key to great management. You need both to be successful…ideas are great, but if they are scattered all over the place and not aligned with the stated future overarching goal(s), and if they are changed before really being given time to succeed, the business will flounder.
Start out with a couple of great goals. Know why you want to achieve those things. Then figure out what milestones you need to hit along the way and what processes you need to develop/follow to make those milestones happen. After you achieve them (or when you’re 90%+ done), start thinking of adding new goals, techniques, and strategies that are natural extensions of your current goals. Don’t do a 180 degree turn and pivot to something completely unrelated where you have limited-to-no experience.
“Well done is better than well said.” – Benjamin Franklin
I think of Ben Franklin’s quote above in two ways. The first is how I believe he meant for it to come out, which is being a smooth talker and having a quick wit is great, but you need to be able to actually accomplish what you say for it to mean anything. (Talk is cheap.)
The second part related to this quote is that I don’t think it matters whether you are the one who is physically doing the work or if you delegate it (using your words to convey the purpose/inspiring others to take action to accomplish the goal). That doesn’t matter – it’s about the end result. In that case, saying it well can lead to doing it well (by others).
Do you think Elon Musk is working on a space shuttle, turning a wrench on a Tesla, or doing the bulk of the engineering work to bore a tunnel under Los Angeles? Is Jeff Bezos packaging and delivering each Amazon order? They’re working on their business and focusing on the big picture to move their companies forward. It is still very important to do the other things, or else the companies would go out of business, but without growth, stagnation creeps in and other companies will eventually catch/pass them.
When starting a business, you’ll probably have to do the majority of the work yourself or as part of a small team. That’s probably a good idea because it allows you to have a better understanding of best practices, what not to do, etc. But you will eventually reach capacity (there’s only one of you and so many hours in a day). At that point (or, hopefully, before you reach capacity) you need to think of hiring others to help you. You can then delegate the work that doesn’t need to be done by you anymore. The end result is the same (it gets done), but you get to focus more on the big picture/expanding your business. If you don’t do this, and you are always the one doing the work, the only difference between you and an employee is that you own your job. You’re not a business yet. Because if you get hurt, sick, or want to take a vacation, guess who’s not making money? You.
Have at least a basic understanding of how to do things well, but it is equally important to learn how to say things well, as that is what will eventually free you from the “rat race.”
Have you ever been unsure of what you want to do, of what goals you would like to achieve? Or do you have a vague idea of “what you want” but are overwhelmed when thinking of how to get there? Here’s something you can work on every single day…
Go to bed smarter than you woke up.
Now, having more knowledge/information doesn’t guarantee success. But it is at least a step in the direction towards becoming an expert in your field. Once you have the information, you can act upon it.
So ask yourself when you wake up…What will you learn today? How will you improve your mind, your body, or your relationships in any way? There’s no such thing as equilibrium – just tiny adjustments, up or down/better or worse…will you improve yourself and your knowledge today? Or will you get worse?
