If you learn to enjoy the process, the rest will fall into place. You’re more likely to end up with the result your desire and learn to be happier (both during the process and with the end result).
For example, instead of just saying, “I want to lose 25 pounds,” try to figure out what process you need to follow to do this. Do you need to cut out sugar and processed foods, work out for 30 minutes or more five days per week, drink more water, get better sleep, etc.? If you can learn to love doing those things, you can easily achieve the result you desire. And then when you get to your goal, you’ll also be much more likely to keep those healthy habits because you actually enjoy doing them! No more of this “yo-yo” dieting. No more working out really hard for 3 months and then not working out at all for the next 6 months.
You have to be consistent to achieve results. And the more you enjoy the boring, consistent process, the better results you’ll see.
Everyone wants to be extremely talented and to have incredible natural ability. But the reality is that not all of us are blessed with that natural ability. We can’t change that. But what we can change is our effort.
How hard are you willing to work? How much are you willing to sacrifice? Are you determined to make it happen? Do you make a plan and work the plan? Are you intrinsically motivated? Do you work well with others? Do you have a good attitude? Do you show up? Do you follow through with what you say you’ll do?
Your effort in life will play a bigger role than your natural ability. The more effort you give, the more ability you can develop.
“You should know now that a man of knowledge lives by acting, not by thinking about acting, nor by thinking about what he will think when he has finished acting. A man of knowledge chooses a path with heart and follows it.” – Carlos Castaneda in “A Separate Reality”
Take action today. It’s great to read, listen to podcasts, and brainstorm ideas, but at the end of the day, if you don’t take action on all of that knowledge, you’re basically in the same place as someone who didn’t spend (waste?) that time learning. There will be no measurable difference between you and that person. The main differences will be that you might be able to offer some input to others who are looking to take action and also that you’ve wasted a lot of time not doing something actually productive.
Be humble and never think that you are better than anyone else.
It’s easy to think that you’re always right. You can justify why you thought what you thought, why you said what you said, or why you did what you did. You forgive yourself for the times you were wrong. You have excuses (or make excuses) to pardon yourself.
But what happens when other people make mistakes or if they’ve wronged you? Are you so quick to forgive them? Do you make rash judgments on their actions, even though you don’t comprehend their circumstances?
There are two quotes – both by very respected men – thathelp me be more humble when I’m put in these positions.
The first is from Abraham Lincoln. Supposedly, someone was speaking poorly of the southerners during the Civil War, to which Lincoln replied, “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”
The other quote is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
Both of these quotes remind me to have humility. When I’m “up on my high horse,” I need a reminder of this sometimes. The person who has wronged me usually is not doing it consciously and maliciously, but they’re just reacting. Would I have responded in the same way if I were in their shoes?
If I can remember that I can be taught something by anybody, then I should know that, at least in that subject, they have superior knowledge than I do.
I may have certain beliefs, but who’s to say those are right or wrong? I may change beliefs 10 years, 10 months, 10 days, or 10 minutes from now. The goal should NOT be to prove that I am right, but just like having a hypothesis in science, it should be to test the hypothesis to see if it stands up against many challenges. I should be challenging my thinking and constantly be trying to prove it wrong. The more times it holds up, the closer I am to being correct. But because there are infinite opportunities to try to prove it wrong (and I can only test so many), I should be careful to claim that “this is the only way” and that I’m right. When people claim their way is the only way, when they slam other people’s ideas or don’t even entertain the ideas outside of mainstream thinking, their hubris begins to show.
Embrace your fear. Everybody fears something. Don’t be ashamed of it and don’t recoil from it. If you fear making mistakes and you don’t embrace it, you will do everything in your power to not make a mistake. Eventually that will lead you to stop taking any chances at all just so you don’t look bad…
But the thing is, it’s all in your head. Most people won’t judge you for making mistake. And if they do, it’s pretty hypocritical. Everyone makes mistakes. The best learn from their mistakes and from the mistakes they’ve observed others make. They not only learn from that isolated incident, but they also can apply their new found knowledge in other areas of life. They figure out where the carryover is and become better predictors for future events. Then they test the hypothesis and keep pushing.
The more you push your limits, the more you grow. But if you don’t want to push your limits and always want to stay within your comfort zone, you might grow slowly, or you might not grow at all. And in a worst-case scenario, you’ll actually end up getting worse.
Embrace your fears. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to look weak, to look dumb… If you don’t understand something, ask a question. If you think you can lift the weight, but you aren’t sure, try it anyways. Ask for a spotter. People like to help if you let them.
