Tag: lies

Why is it that you’re really upset?

If you get upset with somebody’s words, pause and reflect as to why those words are affecting you this way. Is it because there is a hint of truth to them? Or is it because there is no truth at all to them and you feel that it is disrespectful or slanderous towards you?

There can be a fine line between disrespect and tough love. Is that person telling you something you need to be told, even though it’s not how you want to be told? Sometimes, that’s the only way to get through to you… That’s the only way you’ll actually listen. If somebody is too nice or makes it a little too easy and comfortable for you to hear, it never sinks in. It’s a lot easier to brush off. But if somebody tells you a hard truth and you don’t like it, or if they do it in a way that you don’t like, it’s going to get your attention. Sometimes, that’s what is needed. Don’t get mad and stew on it. Try to understand why they said it. If it’s true, do something about it. If you feel it’s inaccurate, talk with the other person and see where they’re coming from.

Telling the truth

One rule that I live by is to tell the truth as often as possible. I’ve told the truth even when it was in my best interest not to. The reason I do it is three-fold…

First, I tell the truth because it’s the right thing to do. To me, it just doesn’t sit right in my soul to lie to someone else, especially for something important. I’ve told “white lies” many times before, but they usually make me want to come out and say what I really mean. Every time I lie, the other person may not know, but I do. And I don’t want that to chip away at my integrity and how I view myself. To lie because it’s easy is a coward’s way out.

Second, I tell the truth because the truth is likely to come out anyways and I want to maintain my integrity in the eyes of others. Part of the first reason I tell the truth is to maintain how I view myself, but as much as I specifically don’t care how random people view me, I do want people to generally view me as someone who is honest. If I keep telling lies and it turns out that the other person found out I lied, I begin to lose credibility. It takes a lot more effort to regain their trust once you’ve lost it.

Third, I tell the truth because it takes less energy to do so. Have you ever been caught in a web of lies? You have to keep fabricating a story for it to “make sense.” Then, when retelling the story, you have to try to stay consistent with what you’ve already said. How can you keep track of it all when it’s all made up? It takes less energy to just tell the truth. If there are consequences, so be it. Get those out of the way. Apologize if necessary. But I’d rather rip the band-aid off by telling the truth rather than prolong the story (and have the anxiety of wondering when you’re going to get caught/be found out).

The truth hurts sometimes. It sucks. But I’d rather know the truth and do something about it than be told a lie and think everything was ok. If you feel the same way, why would you treat anyone else so poorly by lying to them?

Don’t let your emotions lead to bad decisions

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t let someone sell you something you don’t want or don’t need. They will try to appeal to your emotions (especially fear and greed – two of the most powerful emotions to manipulate). But ultimately, it’s up to you to decide if you want to gamble your money, time, or energy away with them.