Tag: life

My biggest fear…is it really what I think?

Many people fear failing, and I know it is one of my biggest fears as well. That’s what I’ve always told myself before, anyways. But after thinking about it more, am I afraid of actually failing or am I afraid of looking like a failure to others? There is a difference…

When you actually fear failing, you’ll often get stuck in “paralysis by analysis” mode, where you procrastinate taking any action for fear that the action you take is the wrong one. The irony is that this fear to fail often keeps you from even trying to get what you want. But if you don’t try it, you guarantee you won’t get it. In that sense, you have ensured failure, just not publicly.

So is it really failure you’re afraid of or is it the perception of failing? Sometimes you are held back from doing something or saying something because you think others will look down on you. Are you ok with asking questions and letting other know that you are not processing the information they’ve given to you? Are you ok with trying something new, with no guarantees of succeeding, if you think others will judge you for it? That’s the difference between being afraid to fail versus being afraid to look like a failure.

Next time you find that you aren’t pursuing a goal or a passion, ask yourself this…What is more important – what other people think of you (when they see you try and fail) or what you think of yourself (never publicly trying something/never “failing” in front of others, but ask never achieving your actual goal)?

Changing priorities and opinions

People will change as a result of the circumstances that surround them. We all do, and we all should, as our priorities change.

If you are the same person now that you were 10 years ago, ask yourself, why? Are you still learning and growing? Do you only care for yourself or do you have others to care for now? It’s OK that people change over the years. If they didn’t, that wouldn’t be normal. I would hope that your beliefs from when you’re 18 years old and not allowed to legally drink change when you’re a 30-year old with kids, a 50-year old starting to think about retirement, or a 75-year old thinking about the future of your grandkids when you’re gone.

Your core values, morals, and ethics should be constant. But don’t demonize a person for changing their mind on specific topics. As they are presented more information, they should be receptive to changing their thoughts based on the new information they’ve received.

Voluntary hardship

Do hard things daily. Challenge your body by working out. Challenge your mind by reading and writing. Challenge your beliefs by being receptive to ideas from others who don’t have the same opinions as you. Take on that difficult project at work. Say no to eating out today and make something from a new recipe instead.

Experience voluntary hardship. It makes actual hardships easier and it puts life into perspective. Life is good. We just fail to properly appreciate it.

Education

School is a way to earn a degree, but it is not the only way to earn an education. There are other ways to learn, including to learn by doing. If you’ve graduated from school, or if school isn’t your thing, that doesn’t mean that you’re done learning. Learn by doing. Give yourself deadlines. Start moving and figure it out along the way. Go experience things. Get stuff done. Use your time being out of school to your advantage.

Are you delegating tasks?

At some point in time, you will have to delegate tasks and responsibilities in order to become more effective. You only have so much time during the day, and if you are in charge of doing everything, the limiting factor of how much gets done is you. You are the bottleneck.

I first noticed this when reading Tim Ferris’s “The 4-Hour Workweek.” He talks of the D-E-A-L strategy, which is summed up by deligating tasks/responsibilities that someone else can do (even if they can only do it 80% as well as you can), eliminating tasks/activities that either don’t matter or are unproductive uses of your/someone else’s time, and automating repetitive low-skill tasks that you do frequently and should not be eliminated (don’t waste your brain power or time thinking about these). Once you do those three things, it liberates you to work on the projects that give you the most joy, are in your wheelhouse, and that only you can do. You’ll have more time, energy, and, if you optimized the first three steps, money to allocate to anything else of your choosing.

The quicker you can begin delegating tasks/responsibilities, the quicker you can grow. Don’t expect it to be perfect though. Other people are imperfect (just like you) and have their own way of doing things. If you don’t provide the proper training and instructions (as well as explaining the reason why you want things done), expect worse results. Even if you do provide adequate standard operating procedures, there will still be bumps along the way. But you have to take the good with the bad. And, ultimately, as long as you delegated power to the right person, you will be able to move forward faster than if you took on everything yourself.