Tag: life

Hardship

“A happy life exists not in the absence of hardships, but in the mastery of them.” – Helen Keller

What better feeling than facing a challenge and overcoming it? If you don’t know the taste of defeat, how much can you really enjoy victory? Of course, I’d rather win than lose, but it’s because I’ve lost before that winning means so much. When Michael Jordan finally defeated the Pistons, after years of them beating him, do you think that meant a lot more than winning any other playoff series?

Do not avoid facing challenges. Don’t run away from them. Often, they are what you need to do the most. And even if you do not accomplish everything you set out to do, it will bring you more happiness knowing that you tried to do something about it rather than wondering “what if…”

10 tips to happiness

10 tips to happiness:

1. Spend time by yourself in solitude (preferably outside). Get away from the noise, even if for only 10 minutes per day.

2. Always be learning. Just because you’re out of school doesn’t mean you should stop learning. In fact, now you can learn about subjects of your choosing! Pick something that interests you and dig in.

3. Give (volunteer time, money, material items/goods, or advice). We are meant to be part of a community or tribe. Don’t only live for yourself. That’s lonely. Live to help others – family, friends, and strangers.

4. Do something hard everyday. Try challenging yourself and overcoming obstacles. Go work out, build something with your hands, read a novel that makes you think, plant a garden…the bigger the hurdle, the bigger your reward when you overcome it.

5. Live/act in alignment with your morals…do what is right, even when it’s tough and even when nobody else is looking. Do not boast about this. You are doing what you’re supposed to do. Don’t do it for the reward of other people’s approval. This also involves “tough love.” Doing or saying what needs to be done or said for the betterment of that individual, even if it means telling them what they don’t want to hear.

6. Treat others with kindness, regardless of their status or what they can “give” to you. Think of “The Golden Rule.”

7. Do not attribute malice to what could be ignorance. Especially in today’s world, where it seems we assume anyone with a different opinion than ours is evil, maybe they just don’t know what they don’t know. Maybe they don’t have the life experience you have. They may be blind to certain situations because they haven’t seen it first hand. And guess what? The same can be said about you. You’re not an all-knowing, perfect, empathetic individual. And hopefully as you go through life you figure some new things out and change your opinions from time to time. It’s not flip-flopping. It’s growing.

8. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. Be happy with what you have.

9. Care about/for something. If you have interests/hobbies, you will have something to look forward to. If you have to take care of something (like a pet, child, or parent) or if you have a cause you believe in, then you will find purpose in life.

10. Smile…it will make you feel better and it will make others feel better. Smiling is contagious. Try to spread it.

Short term sacrifices for long term gains

Everybody has their own “thing” that they want right now – something that makes them feel good or gives them joy in some way. And while we should always work at being happy, we should also prioritize our future selves over our current selves more often than not. If you always live for optimum happiness/pleasure and are not willing to make any short term sacrifices, understand that you’re doing so at the expense of your future.

This can be the case for anything from your financial health, to mental, physical, and beyond. For example, if you want to buy a new expensive product instead of buying a used one (or better yet, not buying anything at all), you have less money to save or invest. If you want to sit around and watch mindless tv, you are sacrificing time which you could be reading or working on a project. And if you want to eat fast food five days per week, you are sacrificing your wasteline and clogging you arteries with trans fats and saturated fats.

Each decision you make today affects you in the future. If you can somehow manage to align what you like doing and what is healthiest for your future self, that’s where you can really make big wins because it won’t feel like you’re sacrificing anything. It all starts with changing your habits for the better. Talk a 5-10 minute walk after every meal. Exercise for 60 minutes per day (it can be cumulative). Eat non-processed foods that consist of a variety of vegetables, lean meats, nuts, seeds, some fruits, little starch, and no extra/added sugars. Meditate, pray, or write down what you’re grateful for when you wake up. Read at least 10 minutes per day. Try to make it a game to see how little you can spend each week. Other than investing and paying for your mortgage/rent, utilities, cell phone, car/car maintenance, and groceries, do you need to spend on anything else or can you wait? The longer you can hold off or sacrifice on doing things that don’t promote long term benefits, the better off you’ll be.

True wealth – it may be different than you think

What is enough for you? Will more of something make you happy or can you be content with what you have? How much “extra” do you need?

Surplus can lead to lifestyle creep. It can inflate your ego…are you buying that to impress others or do you actually gain enjoyment from it? Will you use it once and forget about it?

It’s important to keep pushing for more, but it’s also important to put everything in perspective. Money, fame, or “stuff” should never be prioritized over family, friendships, integrity, or health. True wealth is having strong relationships and good health.

Love vs admiration

For someone to know you and love you is more impressive than getting the admiration of those who only know your public persona. Anyone can put on a show in public, being on their best behavior, and most people do. So when you to let someone into your life and they see the real you, with all of your imperfections, and still love you? That’s what really matters.

Don’t worry about popularity or fame (which are always fleeting), just treat people well and try to do the right thing as much as you can. By doing this, you can help win the love and respect from those who truly matter.