Tag: life

Patience with teaching

It takes strength to be gentle. Anyone can be rude, but it takes self-control, strength, and discipline to be patient and caring.

For example, do you get easily annoyed (and show it) when others aren’t understanding what you’re explaining? Be gentle with them. Try to explain it in another way. Whether that means using a different example (verbally) or using a different teaching method (they may learn better by reading or doing instead of listening), if you really want them to understand what you’re talking about, you need to adapt your teaching style to how they learn best. Regardless of whether your other methods work, at the very minimum you’ll become a better teacher by learning how to use different teaching methods.

Lastly, if you really want someone to learn something, you can be firm with them, but don’t be rude or make disparaging remarks. While that may motivate some people, it will make even more people “shut down.” Then, not only do you lose your chance at a teachable moment, but you also hurt their self-esteem and lose their respect (if only temporarily) in the process.

Protective parenting

Being a parent of young children, I finally understand why you have those overbearing, overprotective parents. As a parent, you never want to see your child hurting – whether physically or emotionally. But we have to accept that pain is part of life and we cannot (and should not) try to shield them from everything.

We want to protect our children, but the irony is that the best thing we can do is let them experience hardship. If you don’t let them experience any pain, they won’t be able to cope with facing more difficult circumstances.

One of the best feelings a person can have is overcoming adversity. Facing a stacked deck and still winning. Why would you want to take that away from them? There is no thrill in victory without the possibility of defeat. If you know that you can’t lose, what’s the point of playing the game? It becomes boring. The same goes for your children…

If you have children, let them struggle. Part of experiencing the highs in life is also knowing about the lows. Don’t jump in to try to save them from being able to know and understand both. Helping them right now can actually be hurting them in the future. But it’s important to start small and to start young. The more quickly they are able to stumble and fall, yet get back up, the better off they’ll be in the long run.

Success, money, and fame

“I’d rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.” – Sophocles

Don’t trade your integrity for fame, money, or “success.” Those things come and go, but you’ll always have to live with your decisions. Outward success does not mean you’ll feel inward contentment. It may take longer, but if you live in a way where your actions align with your values, you’ll end up happier without sacrificing your honor or time with loved ones. And, to me, that is a truer measure of success than only counting fame or money.

Labeling

Avoid tying your identity to a group or characteristic. Stop labeling yourself. For example, do not view yourself as smart. This will get you in trouble eventually. If say you are smart, or let other people’s kind words influence your opinion of yourself, you could fall into the trap of viewing your decisions as always being right and be close-minded to others’ suggestions.

On the flip side, don’t label yourself as your feelings either. Instead of “I’m depressed,” you should say, “I feel sad right now because X.” It is important to understand that you are not what you feel. Your feelings fluctuate throughout the day – they are temporary, but if you dwell on the bad and tell yourself that is who you are, your mind will work hard to keep you in that rut.

Lastly, do not identify yourself with a political party. Why should you have to choose between labeling yourself as a Republican or Democrat? Shouldn’t you come up with ideas and solutions on your own instead of having answers fed to you? Don’t follow the herd and just say or do whatever a party leader says. You don’t need to have an us versus them mindset. Instead, try aiming for a more inclusive mindset. How can you include more people in your life and improve their lives? Don’t follow others blindly. You can take the best from one person’s/group’s opinions and merge it with the best from another to develop your own guidelines. Make sure that what you say and do aligns with your core values – who you are and who you want to be as a person.